Dad - Reflections - Year #2

The last day I spent with Dad was January 1, 2012

 Jody, Mum and I alternated lying on the bed with him throughout the day.  He was in a morphine induced haze mumbling incoherently with the occasional nonsensical phrase uttered very loudly, startling us with its clarity.   

 “Please Dad, look at me,” I silently begged.  “Just one more time.”  But his eyes, blue eyes so like mine that when I looked into them was like looking in a mirror, refused to open. 

I gazed at the paleness of his still powerful arms.  The cancer had moved so swiftly that the ever present tan on his forearms hadn’t yet faded.   The white stripe on his left wrist was from the watch that he was never without except when he was sleeping. He had taken it off weeks ago. I couldn’t bear it.  The tears rolled down my cheeks as I lay next to him, quietly weeping.  

In the past, when I needed to be consoled, I would turn to Dad for a hearty bear hug, snug and secure against the bulk of his big belly.  Now the belly, while still big, was swollen by the cancer that was ravaging his body.  I couldn’t hug him, if I did, he would cry out in pain.  I had to settle for holding his inert hand. My big, brave dad.  

Mum recently told me that Dad told her to tell his girls to “be ready”.  Mum thinks he was telling us to have our hearts ready for Heaven. 

We have a different perspective.  We think Dad was letting us know, just like when we were little, that he is leaving soon and are we, as the PA  Dutchman says, “ready to went”? 

Dad, impatient as always, couldn’t wait for us any longer so he went on ahead. 

We will catch up eventually.

starting lent off on the right foot

A good start to the day....I hit nothing but green lights on the way in to work.

I'm also giving up soda for Lent.  I do it every year.  But this time I'm also going to give up iced tea.  As a matter of fact, I'm only going to drink water until Easter.  Maybe an occasional glass of OJ.  I'm also going to cut way back on the sweets.

As part of my Lent plan, I'm also going to attempt to cut back on my time spent on Facebook.  I'm going to stop the Zuma playing.  That is my major Facebook addiction.

I'm also trying something different this year, I'm going to send some correspondence to friends and family.  It might be a card or it might be a wee giftie.  But I have found that people really do like to get real mail so that is what I'm going to do.

Send some mail to you and you and you!!

Fat Tuesday

Today is Fat Tuesday....or Donut Day if  you are from Pennsylvania Dutch Country.  Last chance to eat like a pig until Easter.  Also a day to contemplate what to give up for Lent.

Every year I give up soda.  We'll see if I do the same this year.

Let's discuss tomorrow!

proscratination thy name is jen

You all know my best, good friend Susanna, right?  We've been friends since the 4th grade.  She knows me so well.  Therefore, it should come as no surprise to her that I've just now mailed out her Christmas gifts.

Her name should be "patience".

Is there anybody else out there that I owe something to?  Whether it be a gift, card, money?

Let me know....I'd like to wipe the slate clean.

Closing up shop

I've been thinking....either I need to start posting again or close down Dr. Bombay permanently.

Thoughts? 

Did you miss me?

I took a break from the blog. I would love to say it was because life was too busy. But that was not the case.

Mostly I've just uninspired. Plus I've been on Facebook.

Here's a bullet list update:

Health:
Only one major attack - diplopia - double vision. It sucked. I was off work for a week. Had to use up vacation time.

Hair
Got a haircut - nice and short. With face framing high lights

Home
While Tom was on vacation for a week I got new carpet throughout the house. Berber. I'm quite happy with it.

Vacation
Tom went on vacation to Wildwood for a week in July with his family. I stayed home. It was heaven on earth.

Reunion
July marked my 20th High School class reunion. As usual, the drama I concocted in my head was non-existent.

Family
While I was down for the count with the diplopia my sister came in for a flying visit on her way back from a trip to Washington State. She was jet-lagged and I was sick. Not our best visit but it is always good to see her. In May, my Cousin Heidi gave birth to a dumpling of a baby named Josephine or Josie for short.

Friends
My best good friend Sanna is getting married in October. I couldn't be happier for her. She has a good man in Dave.

Marriage
Life is going swimmingly with Tom. We celebrated 16 years of marriage this July. Woo-hoo!

Age
I turned 38 this past April. I'm getting old and my neck is showing it. I swear it is starting to turn crepey. Tom got me a lovely wooden bench for the front porch.

Household projects
I'm not a big project girl, so the fact that I took time out of my weekend to stain the jelly cupboard I've had for over 5 years is worth remarking about.

Library
I've started going to the library again. I put going on hiatus while I finished reading all the books I've gotten as gifts. I'm reading Dick Francis right now.

Netflix
As always I'm watching my movies from my queue. Right now I'm watching NYPD Blue and Barney Miller.

And now it is fall and I'm feeling the need to write again. Let us see if I can keep up the blogging!! Wish me luck.

the end

I've been tied to this NaBloPoMo during this, the shortest month of the year and I am so tired of thinking up new ideas.

Next month the topic is "strange(ers).

You'll be delighted to know that I most certainly am not committing myself to the challenge.

Jen out.

teeth

Have you ever tried pulling a loose tooth by tying a string to the tooth and to a door knob and then shut the door?

I think I may have tried that when I was young and stupid.

Classic Tie Knots #4 - Prince Albert

Shorter men often have to fight with silk neck ties that are too long. No matter what they do, the ends always dangle way too far over the buckle belt. For them it helps to wind around the broad end several times. This method of course has a name - it is called Albert. Someone who prefers a big, but longish knot, - as the Italians do – should know how to tie the Prince Albert necktie knot. The procedure is almost identical with the one of the Four-in-hand knot.

dress

When I was a little girl, my mother oftern made my clothes. She would make dresses with ties in the back and if I wasn't paying attention when I would go to the bathroom, the ties would fall into the toilet and get wet.

There is nothing worse than walking around with a wet tie slapping your bare leg.

apron strings

Although my husband has given me a lot to complain about over the years, I can say that being tied to his mother's apron string was never an issue.

After he graduated high school he left home to go into the Marines and he really never went back.

His mother married an unpleasant man and Tom never got along with him so it was easy to stay away.

She did have a hold on him, but it was really one of obligation and guilt more than anything else.

She could wish with all her might, but Tom would never be a Mama's boy.

CLassic Tie Knots #3 - Bow Tie

The origin of the bow tie dates to the 17th century when Croatian mercenaries fought in support of Louis XIII against Cardinal Richelieu. As the Croats walked the streets of Paris, their brightly colored scarves caught the attention of the Court. The upper class began wearing creatively tied versions of the scarves around their necks and the bow tie was born.

Railroad

This memory is compliments of my Mother


When we moved into our new house, the front of the house was landscaped using railroad ties as borders for the shrubbery. Shortly after we moved in, Mum planted tulips out front and one spring something ate the buds off the tulip stalks before they ever had a chance to bloom? She thought there might be a little varmint of some kind that was biting them off so Dad decided to flip over a railroad tie and there was a little cache of the missing tulip buds! They were not sure what did that but suspected it was a mole. They speculated that it could have been a chipmunk but they had never seen one around.

It will always be an unsolved mystery.

Classic Tie Knots #2 - Four-in-hand

Also known as a simple knot, the four-in-hand is believed to be the most popular method of tying ties due to its simplicity. The knot dates back to England in the days of the coach-and-four where the men driving the coach knotted their ties in this manner to help prevent them from flapping in the wind. The knot produced by this method is on the narrow side, slightly asymmetric, and appropriate for all occasions. It works best with wide ties made from heavy fabrics and should be worn with a tab, button-down or regular spread collar. It's a classic knot for any occasion and is most widely used.

a little information

Because I'm running out of interesting things to say about the word "tie", I'm cutting and pasting the following information. I can't wait until this month is over. I don't know what possessed me to do a whole month about "ties"


Tie clips serve a very important function along with being decorative. Men’s ties are intended to cover the button of the dress shirt and also provide a line of contrast and interest. Many fashion experts often suggest that a properly selected tie conveys the personality of the wearer. Unfortunately, even the most expensive silk tie cannot compete with wind and gravity and can easily blow out of place with a quick gust of air and unsecured tie can also find its way into a paper shredder or other machine. A tie clip places approx two thirds of the way down the front of a neck tie and keep it secured through most situations.

Now you know!

A song

Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport

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tying shoes

My Dad taught me how to tie my shoes. I practiced over and over again until I got it just right.

Then when I was in sixth grade I got a pair of sneakers with velcro. They were gray and pink. I loved them dearly.

Now of course I wouldn't be caught dead with velco sneakers.

But I wear sneakers every day. Because of the MS I can't really feel my feet and sneakers are pretty much the only shoes that don't fall off my feet.

Who taught you to tie your shoes?

Classic Tie Knots #1 - Windsor

Falsely named after the Duke of Windsor, the Windsor knot (also known as the full Windsor or double Windsor) is a wide triangular knot that is usually worn for formal occasions. This type of knot looks best worn with a shirt collar that is considerably cut-away.

drunk as a skunk

To tie one on - intentionally get drunk.

I can honestly say....I've tied one on. On more that one occasion. That's what you do in college.

Only I don't think I've ever deliberately used that phrase. But I have definitely tied one on. Tequila.

It'll do it to you every time.

a joke

Q. What did the necktie say to the hat?

A. You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.