a touch scatological but nonetheless of great personal interest……

Am I the only person who feels as though I am missing something vital and important after having had a really good poop?

Anybody?

Just thought I’d ask.

And know this, that in my house, it is perfectly acceptable (if not an actual requirement) to announce with great satisfaction "i just had the BEST poop" upon exiting the bathroom.

We also recommend using air freshener.

Just as a courtesy.

short and sweet

my weekend with Jason, Phoebe and Verna Mavis went something like this:

AUNT JEN...CAN I HAVE A LOLLIPOP?
AUNT JEN...CAN I HAVE A COOKIE (oreos of course, phoebe is a girl after my own heart)
AUNT JEN...CAN WE PAINT?
AUNT JEN...WHEN ARE WE GOING TO MCDONALD'S PLAYLAND
AUNT JEN...CAN I HAVE A LOLLIPOP?
AUNT JEN...JASON WON'T SHARE
AUNT JEN...WHEN ARE WE GOING TO THE MUSEUM?
AUNT JEN... THE T-REX IS A MEAT-EATER
AUNT JEN...CAN I HAVE A LOLLIPOP?
AUNT JEN...CAN WE WATCH MIFFY?
AUNT JEN... THE T-REX IS THE MEANEST OF ALL DINOSAURS

AUNT JEN...AUNT JEN...AUNT JEN

All of these questions were asked at very high decibels and most every question was answered with a yes, because that's just the kind of Aunt Jen I am.

pause for refreshment

so here's the deal......

my sister Jody and her kids are venturing down from their Vermont mountain for a four day visit.

While they are here, I will relinquish the computer to my sister so that she may play endless games of Zuma in a futile attempt to beat my high score.

During this time, I shall exist solely to grant the whims and wishes of Jason, Phoebe and Verna Mavis.

Never fear, I WILL return on Tuesday with stories and pictures and at which time I will catch up with the following blog friends:

Ami - who bought a new house and is slowly making it her home.
Beth - who I JUST found out has uterine cancer and I'm more than a little concerned!
NJaney - who is getting married and is contemplating adding a new bird to her menagerie
Mandolyn - who is pregnant with her first baby (a girl) and I need an update!
Mannyed - time for a tale about a cat and the people he owns
EdgyKay - who has been sick and is full of germs so I stayed away from her blog so as not to infect myself so close to having guests
All Knowing Jen - we need to seriously discuss about forming a "Just Jens" club
Patresa - ok....so she doesn't even know I exist (I found her from EdgyKay) and I've been sort of stalking her ever since, she is THAT good!
Katie - just had a baby boy and I really need to go over there and congratulate her!
Another Jen - who has the most beautiful baby girl with the more hair than one little should have at her age!

If you come by to check in and see if I've updated BEFORE Tuesday, try any one of these lovely people instead, to tide you over until I return.

Don't miss me too much!

update

You all deserve a quick update, my beautiful blogging friends:

The prednisone is doing its job, which includes chipmunk cheeks, bouts of irrational anger and an increase in mobility. As a matter of fact, today was the first time that I was able to move my right foot from the gas to the brake. When a flare-up happens, I sometimes brake with the left foot, which leads to some very jerky braking and might possibly be illegal, I don’t know. A girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to DO!.

But let me share this (which is of greater importance):


When I got home from work on Friday night, I spied a big box on my front porch.

A BOX!

From AMAZON.COM!!

For ME!!!

Inside the big box, tenderly cushioned by those plastic air pillows, was a smaller box.

From NABISCO.

Inside the smaller box were 12 even smaller blue boxes.

And inside each of the smaller blue boxes, were lovely little crispy, crunchy, chocolately discs of cookie goodness held together with cream filling, otherwise known as OREOS!!

With a note bidding me to “Stash them around the house. We should never run out and have to rely on graham cracker substitutes”.

This was a thoughtful gift from my friend Jess Jones, who not only knows the importance of Oreos but also knows the joy in receiving an unexpected box from Amazon.com

Now that I think about it, perhaps it’s not just the Prednisone alone that is making my cheeks fatter?!?

So thank you, Jess Jones for thinking of me.

And thanks to the rest of you lovely people who took a moment to check in and see if I’m still alive and kicking!

Next up…..a visit from my sister and her kids.

just a little wallow in self-pity

A flare-up. The hauling out of the cane and the shower chair, the excuses to the employers of why you are late. The brave face you put on to your friends and family. The 80mg of Prednisone for two or three weeks.

The MS has reared its ugly head with a particularly vicious flare-up. This one came on quickly.

Let us recap:

2/5 - Monday - I’m tripping lightly up the stairs (emphasis on tripping!)
2/6 - Tuesday - I’m noticing a limp
2/7 - Wednesday - the limp has become pronounced (as in “Hello, I now pronounce you a Limp) and is getting worse.
2/8 - Thursday - I call Dr. Englestein, my neurologist. Lovely Nurse Tina, phones in a prescription for Prednisone, inflammation’s nemesis.
2/9 - Friday morning I’ve pulled out the shower chair. For those of you who don’t know, hot showers/baths are anathema for MS patients. It is like the hot water is sapping all your strength. As a matter of fact, in the good old days, that is how a person was diagnosed with MS. They were put in a hot bath. So when I’m in the midst of a flare-up I use a chair. (which also comes in handy when it’s time to shave the legs?) And now I’m popping 80mg of Prednisone every day.
2/10 - Saturday I’m lolling on the couch feeling sorry for myself with a list of things that I won’t be able to do: 1) Laundry 2) grocery shopping 3) got to the bank
2/11 - Sunday – turns out I can’t drive because my right foot really doesn’t want to move easily from the gas to the brake. I HAVE to go to work. I haul out the cane. Husband drives me to work. Husband does grocery shopping while I am work. I send him to ShopRite with NO grocery list. It’s a test. He’s spent $131.00 and managed to get, amongst other things, the butter and bacon and bananas that we needed.

2/12 - Monday – Husband takes me to work. I fall down the front steps of the house (this happens when your balance is shot to shit). Husband unceremoniously hauls me up out of the mud and we continue on with our day.
2/12 - Monday night – Milking my crippled state for all it’s worth, I guilt my husband into doing 4 loads of laundry.

2/13 – Tuesday – While trying to maneuver down those treacherous front steps again, I feel myself starting to sway. To avoid yet another fall, I plump myself down on the top step and decide to go down the steps on my bum. From across the road, our neighbor Patio Bob (he builds patios and sidewalks) sees my descent and rushes over to help me. He doesn’t seem to understand that I WANTED to go down the stairs in this fashion. In his zeal to help me, he almost pulls my arm out of the socket. I make it to the car and
against the advice of my husband, I drive myself to work. If I crack up the car he’s going to be full of “I told you so’s”.

Must try to not wreck car!

With the realization that another flare-up was really, truly upon me, I had a myself a little pity-party. The last flare-up I had was in March of 2006. Since then, nothing but good things. This is what the MS does, you see, it leads you down the garden path whispering in your ear:

"THIS is living with MS? The pins and needles in the legs? The sudden fatigue? The sensitivity to heat? The weak bladder? The uneven gait? Oh, this isn't so bad. I can handle this"

And then

BLAM!! (and not the good Emeril BLAM).

But blam that rocks you back on your heels and reminds you once again that you DO have a debilitating disease and if you DON't take proper care of yourself you could end up in a wheel chair like your Aunt Karen. Unable to care for yourself. Feeling like your husband got himself a pig in a poke.

So I wept and ate graham crackers with chocolate icing (we were out of oreos!) tried to find the humor in it all.

Things you can’t believe you’ve just wasted your time reading:

1) Last year, to initiate my New Years resolution of “economy, economy, economy”, I purchased a big box of store brand Q-tips. *side note: If they are store brand then they aren’t “Q-Tips”. What are they called? Anyhoo, these Q-tips sucked. They didn’t have as much cotton on the tip and they bent easily. There is nothing worse than having the Q-tip bend at a crucial point in the ear wax removal process.

I would like to report that these fake Q-tips have been used up; however that is not the case. There is still a quarter of the box left. I CANNOT believe that two reasonably hygienic people can’t use up 500 Q-tips in a year. This would also account for some of the reason why my husband can’t hear me when I talk to him.

2) The toilet seat is cracked and nooooooo it wasn’t because I sat on it! Turns out Himself ate too much salsa cheese dip and had to make a very hurried trip to the bathroom and I don’t know if it was the force with which he sat down or the explosive nature of his mission but the toilet seat was cracked in the process. And now every time I sit down, the seat pinches my heiney.

3) While we are in the bathroom and talking about my heiney…. Am I the only person who has to fish hair from out of my butt crack when I’ve finished washing my hair? Please tell me that it is because I need a haircut and not that I am exhibiting early signs of hair loss. Please don’t tell me it’s because my ass is so big that it truly is eating up everything in its path and finally, please oh please tell me there are other women out there that are afflicted with this problem.

4) Comedy Central is airing reruns of Scrubs. I try to catch an episode whenever I can and I can honestly say there is not an episode where I haven't laughed out loud at least once. It is a sly, wittily written show that is fresh and hits my funny bone just right.

5) Regarding the trainwreck of a blog that I flamed….I can’t give you the address. I’m too ashamed of my unchristian-like behavior, plus I think you all are better off not reading it. But if you want to read the post on which I commented I’ll email it to you. I wish I could remember what exactly I said in my hateful comment, but then too you are probably better off not reading that either. I don’t want you to judge me!!

6) I’ve been listening to Alison Krauss and Union Station all week. I loves me some good mandolin and dobro playing

7) EdgyKay is back!! Woo Hoo! I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed a person I’ve never met.

back in the saddle again

In the past month, the below three points have conspired against me, leaving me impotent.


1) At Christmas my brother-in-law Chris casually mentioned that he liked my style of writing and that if he were in that end of publishing he'd try to get me a book deal. Chris works for Wiley Publishing, who publishes among other things, the For Dummies books.

I have never had aspirations to become a writer. I’m too lazy and uninspired. So for someone to say that, even in passing, is ludicrous. Plus, any book that I might write would have to be centered on Oreos, boobies and the frustrations of living with Himself since this is the only thing I write about with any degree of knowledge. And really, who would read that book?!?

It felt good to have my words validated but on the other hand it paralyzed me. I felt as though I needed to impress the professional in him. Which in retrospect is absurd since he publishes computer books.

2) Like a fool, I shared my blog entries with my mother. We sat and read them together, Christmas night. She loved them. I cringed every time she read a post where I used “fuck”.

She turned to me the first time she read one and looking over her bi-focals quietly said “You weren’t raised to talk like that.”

“I only use it for emphasis.” I replied untruthfully.

Again, it felt good to have my words validated. Even if it was from my mother, who is obligated to tell me how wonderful I am by the mere fact that she my mother. Even so, I was left with the unsettled feeling that I had shared too much, while my mother was left with the feeling that she really must get a computer if only to read my blog.

3) I flamed someone. Anonymously, of course. I am not a complete idiot! But this chick had written something so asinine that she had a hostile comment coming.

As expected, she took immediate offense, erased the entire entry from her blog, wrote a big long “why is everyone so mean to me” sob story threatening to leave the blogging world and went dark for several weeks.

In the meantime, she got tons of comments, reviling the horrid person who caused her such pain. I know this because, against my better judgment, I kept going back to check her site. I don’t know why I subjected myself to her blog in the first place, except that I liked to read it and then pass it on to Sanna so we could laugh at how melodramatic and generic she was.

What amazed and saddened me was that over 50 people posted comments telling her how wonderful she was and how she should not give up blogging. Couldn’t any of these people see what I saw? The drama, the constants bids for affirmation, the poor spelling?!?!

And let me say, admitting that I flamed someone feels oh so gooooood



After much pondering and several aborted attempts at drafting a blog, I sat down and had an internal discussion with myself. We decided that I was letting these issues in particular #3, weigh me down. So we drafted a plan that would set me free.

This is what we did:

1) We thought back to Christmas Day and replayed the conversation with Chris again and determined that while Chris’ was comment was indeed complimentary it was uttered under a Prednisone high (he has asthma and is allergic to cats and my in-laws have THREE indoor cats) and shouldn’t be taken too seriously and that we should go back to writing about whatever strikes our fancy and stop trying to impress him. Except of course, for our vocabulary of which we are VERY proud.

2) When Mum finally does get her computer and has it all hooked up and learns how to navigate the internet, she’ll have to find Nejyerf all on her own. We’re not going to send her the link. This should take months.

3) This point, the point that caused us the most angst turned out to be the easiest one to remedy. We don’t know why we didn’t think of it sooner. DELETE. DELETE. DELETE. We did some housekeeping on our RSS feeder and eliminated several blogs including hers. We are also keeping our visits to certain spaces to a minimum. It's better for all concerned. By avoiding these spaces we can keep our sanity and go backing to talking in the first person.


Days later I’m feeling psychically lighter.

Thus this monster post.








if you've reached this part of the post then please feel free to say "i can't believe i've read the whole thing, now give me a prize!!"

scales DO lie....sometimes

My digital scale has been in hibernation.

You see, we have an ongoing battle, the scale and I.

So, when the battery died several months ago, I declared a victory and put the scale away.

But still it taunted me.

Luring me with its siren song, it’s promise of a new low number.

Yesterday I finally succumbed and put in a new battery.

And then, after having evacuated my bowels and removing all clothing, I stepped upon the scale with the confidence borne of weeks of Lean Cuisine meals and no soda.

There was no rapid flashing of numbers like on the “Biggest Loser” but an immediate three digit red display glaring back at me.

247

I stared down at the scale in stunned disbelief.

“IMPOSSIBLE!!!” I cried (only I said it in my very best Spanish accent “imposseeeblah”)

I stepped off the offending scale and, resisting the impulse to dash it and its horrible 247 to the cold, tiled bathroom floor, shook it.

Then I checked to make sure it was on lbs not kgs.

I put it back down on the floor.

Whispering a prayer, I girded my loins (i LOVE that phrase) and I got back on.

The display showed a new, lower number.

But don’t even THINK that I’m going to tell YOU my new lower number!

Suffice it to say, my days of Lean Cuisine meals are not over just yet. As a matter of fact, they are stretching out into the foreseeable future, or at least until Shop Rite takes them off sale.

I entreat you, oh dearest of Internets, that if you catch me putting an Oreo, or Snickers bar or Vienna Fingers or ANYTHING sweet into my mouth, you will immediately smack me.

I'm counting on you.

to dream the impossible dream

last night while at walmart, I took a quick detour into the handbags aisle, which in turn led me to the accessories aisle and rows of earrings.

ah the earrings!

they were all big, dangly, plasticy, hoop earrings. with plastic bracelets to match.

very 80’s

and it made me wistful for the girl of the late 80’s who would have spent all of her hard earned (by washing dishes at the restaurant) money on plastic accessories.

in keeping with the 80’s theme, last night I had my usual sexy dream with the guy from high school.

this time we were at a party and were making out in the bathroom.

which was weird on two levels:
1) this guy and I NEVER partied together in high school
2) i would NEVER make out in a bathroom. it’s my firm belief that when you are making out with a hot guy it should be done in public for all and sundry to see.

Just when things were getting really hot and heavy he gave a lame excuse and suddenly disappeared and I was putting my dress back on and the dream was over.

unfulfilled yet again.

which begs the question: is it cheating if it is in a dream?

ho ho ho

This, my fine friends, is the portrait of a tired, slightly dissatisfied with Christmas breakfast, waiting for her nephew to open his "more cowbell" t-shirt person dressed in her Christmas Day finery.

Unaware that she resembled Santa Claus.

Until she saw this.

For accuracy's sake, please note that while she does indeed have the requisite rosy red cheeks and the twinkling eyes, her belly does NOT quiver like a bowl full of jelly.

Photo courtesy of Chris and Jenny Webb (damn them!!)

fa la la la la

my most favorite gift?

Bartlett's Familiar Quotations.

in case you were wondering

try as I might, I will never understand frank zappa

I had a dream about george clooney the other night. it was not a sexy dream. we were in church and the minister was making fun of george. and I was laughing.

at george.

i was LAUGHING at george clooney!!!

you don’t laugh AT george, you laugh WITH george.

I should be banned from ever having another dream of george.

i also typed george so many times it has lost all meaning.


one of the girls at work just told us that her mother tested positive for TB. Can we still get TB? I thought there was a vaccine for this.

last night, as I was helping a little old lady find a pair of mittens for her great-nephew, I couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the very long hair bristling from her chin. “not by the hair on my chinny, chin, chin” kept floating through my head. it took every ounce of will I had in me to resist reaching over and plucking that sucker right off. I couldn't even look her in the eye while talking to her. This must be how a man feels when they are talking to a woman with big boobies.

speaking of boobies....mine have been itching like mad. i am hoping this is because they are dry and in need of moisturizer and not because they are growing!! I sit at my desk and scratch and scratch not unlike himself scratching away at his balls.

why does free shipping sound so alluring? every time I see it I want to buy something just to get the free shipping. I think I might need to join a support group.

oh and beth....i tried to do that 6 weird things meme. and just couldn't think of anything weird enough to admit in public. so it turns out, for all intents and purposes, i'm practically perfect!!!

but i will be more than happy to tell you 6 weird things about himself!

OR for those of you who know me well...feel free to divulge my weirdnesses (as you perceive them)

and she's up!!

On Monday I opened my mailbox and what did my wondering eye spy but a package addressed to I.

Ok, poor grammar.

But it rhymed.

It was another package from (quickly becoming infamous) Sanna.

Since there was no accompanying email forbidding me to open before Christmas, I proceeded to rip it open.

Much to my disappointment, it was a CD.

My CD.

From a three CD pack entitled "music to watch girls by”

Sanna insisted that I loan it to her so she could copy it.

I am SO kidding. I left it at her house when we had our joint yard sale in May. She hates the CD . At least that is what she says. I personally think she was secretly listening to it all this time.

She hates the CD so very badly, that she wrapped it in a ripped up Kashi cereal box (for added support is my guess), bundled it into a padded envelope, addressed it to me, paid $1.56 in shipping and sent it on its merry way.

Without a note.

No explanation. Not even a little scrawl on the Kashi box.

Nothing.

And yet I thoughtfully IM'd her that day to thank her for returning the CD.

You see….when somebody sends you something it’s only polite to acknowledge receipt of the gift.

Witness:

In October, I packaged up some little gifties to send to various friends and family. Let me at this time itemize what and to whom I sent things:

1) Thanksgiving themed dishtowels and a note to my friend Robbie in CA
2) Thanksgiving themed dishtowels and a garland made of fake birdsnests (trust me it was cute) and a note to my friend Ginger
3) Two 2ft candy corn lights for putting on a front porch at Halloween and note to my sister-in-law Jenny
4) A little votive candle holder in the shape of a bird and scented votive candles and a note to Sanna.

Two weeks went by.

Halloween came and went

And suddenly I realized that I hadn’t received any responses.

Finally Robbie IM’d me to say “thank you”. She had been on vacation.

Then there were three.

Unable to resist it any longer, I casually asked Sanna if she had ever received a package from me. She immediately fell all over herself with explanations and apologies for her oversight.

Then there were two.

I heard through the family grapevine that not only did Jenny receive the candy corn lights but she put them out on her front porch for Halloween.

I’m sure after Jenny reads this she will immediately apologize and offer some lame-ass excuse about working full-time, traveling for her job and being a mother to an active 18mo little boy and not having the time to write/IM me (even though we IM nearly every day!!)

But I will graciously accept her apology, cause I’m good like that.

Then there will be one.

Ginger….haven’t heard hide nor hair from her but I’ll keep you posted.

The moral of this story?

Never, ever send gifts to Sanna, Jenny or Ginger and expect a thank you.

But, send Robbie a gift and she’ll thank you and MIGHT even send you a hand-written note. Her mother brought her up right.

Afterthought: I realize that so baldly pointing out their obvious lack of social graces might not endear me to Sanna, Jenny and Ginger. But I want you three to know, even though you didn’t see fit to acknowledge the wonderful, thoughtful gifts that I dug out of my basement and sent you, this will not deter me from sending you future gifts. That’s just the kind of girl I
am.

Also, if any of you whiney butts are crying into your keyboards wondering why Jen didn't send YOU anything, just wait until after Christmas. I 'm sure I'm going to get stuff that I can regift!!

wherein jen begins to question her blog virility

I'm suffering from blog impotence.

I just can'’t get it up.

I start out to write something witty and compelling and then ......blooop, it goes all soft.

Do they make a Viagra for this?

anticipation

the package from amazon.com was on my doorstep when I got home from work on Friday.

I resisted the temptation to open it but did shake it furiously in a vain attempt to ascertain what exactlywas in the package. I’m hoping it’s a book from my wish list. You see, I have an amazon.com wish list and I COULD go to the wish list and see what has been purchased, but that would be cheating and spoil the fun of anticipation.

so i CERTAINLY am not going to open it and then pretend to be surprised, Cousin Miah and Cousin Mike!!! Nona would be ashamed of you!

Finally saw Brokeback Mountain and a few impressions of the movie

1) The mountain scenery was BEAUTIFUL
2) Jake Gyllenhaal and his doe –eyed glances from under his cowboy-hat wear a little thin after a while
3) Michelle Williams leaves me cold

This movie is done an injustice every time it is called a “gay cowboy” movie As I was watching the movie (without the hypocritical slightly homophobic presence of himself), it suddenly came to me that this story of jack twist and ennis del mar is really a universal story. the two main characters could have just as easily been two women or two people with ethnic or religious differences that are denied expression of their true love.

and this gentleman says exactly what I cannot express: “The movie tells a small-scale, narrowly delineated story, specific to these individual characters in their time and place, that makes no overt political claims…..”

mind-numbingly boring

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but it’s December.

The thermometer here in NJ is telling a different story. It’s balmy outside and I’m sweating in my wool coat.

I am totally boring myself with this topic.

So let’s move on to another boring topic….Christmas. How are YOU doing on your Christmas shopping? I’ve gotten maybe a quarter of my shopping done. But the rest is all internet shopping, just point and click and wait for the package to arrive.

And speaking of Christmas….the other day I received an email from my friend Sanna.

She wanted to let me know that I would be receiving a package from amazon.com and to not open it until Christmas.

Now I ask you….would a real friend do that? Send a package and then make you wait until Christmas?!?!

I don’t know if I’ll be able to resist temptation. I’m going to need all the help and support I can get.

With any luck, amazon.com will take their sweet time sending out the package so it won’t sit around mocking me until Christmas. AND I hope whatever she sent me is worth the wait!! I’ll let you know after Christmas.

I also bought beautiful Christmas cards this year. From the Dollar Store. Since they were so nice (and cheap - $1 each!!!!) I bought several boxes. Now I have too many cards and not enough people to send them to. So email me your address to nejyerf@hotmail.com and I will send you a cheap yet beautiful Dollar Store Christmas card.

no one loves you like family

the trip out to PA was a resounding success, himself shot a deer and i visited friends and family.

the new car drove beautifully. for the record, she can go up to 85mph without a whimper. luckily, my normally critical passenger was fast asleep. his only comment, upon pulling into my parent’s driveway, was that we seemed to have made good time.

Monday was spent visiting with my mother during which our conversations included but were not limited to:

my new haircut – she liked it
my new car – she liked but refused to take a ride in it
my diet – she thinks I need to eat better and is concerned that I might have a “leaky gut”
my weight – she thinks I lost weight. I don’t look “as chubby” her exact words, I swear!
my MS prognosis – she thinks I should continue with the copaxone shots. I don’t. we (and by we, I mean me) decided not to discuss this particular topic any further.
the 17 year old next door neighbor- who I used to baby-sit when I was in high school- dropped out of school and had a baby.
Christmas – when will they be coming to see us? we have to wait for dad to decide on this major issue

so basically it was your average mother-daughter visit and although it may not sound like it, it truly was a visit that was satisfactory on both ends.

Tuesday was a day for visiting with family. Mum and I had lunch with the following:

Three aunts, two cousins, one uncle and a wee little 2nd cousin.

It was a time to catch up and for me to bask in the love and admiration of family. Sometimes a girl just needs her family.

In addition to these aunts, uncles and cousins, I also managed to speak via the telephone to: two aunts, one uncle and one cousin.

For anyone who is keeping count, that is 5 aunts, 2 uncles and 3 cousins and one 2nd cousin. All in 12 hours!
In case you are curious about how many cousins I have...at last count we are 23 strong. I don’t know the 2nd cousin count but I think it is in the neighborhood of 20.

I also managed to squeeze in an early morning visit to my friend Jess and her kids. We sat in front of her beautiful fireplace and sipped tea and ate doughnuts with peanut butter frosting and gossiped about our mutual friends.

All in all it was an excellent two-day visit with the only one sustaining any mortal wounds was the deer.

better late than never

I am thankful for the lemon meringue pie that Gma made at Thanksgiving.
I am thankful for Uncle Bruce and Aunt Ellen, who hosted Thanksgiving this year.
I am thankful for Vh1, who ran the entire first cycle of ANTM on Friday.
I am thankful for Himself, who didn’t say a word when he came home from work on Friday and saw me in the almost identical position on the couch as I was when he left, because I was watching the entire first cycle of ANTM.
I am thankful for the above run-on sentence.
I am thankful that I FINALLY got the bathroom sink unclogged.
I am thankful that I am leaving for PA Sunday night.
I am thankful that I have off Monday and Tuesday.
I am thankful that I am going to visit with my Mother on Monday and Tuesday, whilst Himself and Dad go hunting.
I am thankful that I don’t have to post again until Wednesday.
I am thankful that my cold cleared up.
I am NOT thankful for the free flowing snot and phlegm the cold left behind.

Until next Wednesday.

For those of you who don’t know….. ANTM = America’s Next Top Model, and I REALLY think Elyse should have won.

if you were in my house....

If you were in my house this weekend you DEFINITELY would have seen me lolling on the couch, swilling Dayquil, blowing my nose every 10 minutes and watching E! THS “Full House”

If you were in my house this weekend and you looked real close you MIGHT have seen that I cleaned the bathroom .

If you were in my house this weekend you would NOT have seen me do any laundry.

If you were in my house this weekend there is NO WAY you would have seen that I ate an entire box of Cocoa Pebbles as I threw away the box and bought a new one to replace it so Himself would never know.

If you were in my house late Saturday night you would have seen me hunched over on the pot groaning in misery, because I ate a whole box of Cocoa Pebbles*

If you were in my house this weekend we really need to talk about how you found my house!!


* Along with enormous amounts of Oreos, Cocoa Pebbles will also act as a laxative

still sick

How sickness enlarges the dimensions of a man's self to himself - Charles Lamb

Still sick.

Becoming increasingly petulant.

Still not getting much sympathy from Himself.

This morning he told me with great heartlessness that the cold will probably settle into a sinus infection.

I suppose he'll want to cancel our date to see "Casino Royale"

The boss is buying us lunch today. Chinese, my favorite. Great. I can't taste a bloody thing. I might as well be eating wet cardboard.

You see?

Utter petulance.