Wednesday, January 01, 2014

Dad - Reflections - Year #2

The last day I spent with Dad was January 1, 2012

 Jody, Mum and I alternated lying on the bed with him throughout the day.  He was in a morphine induced haze mumbling incoherently with the occasional nonsensical phrase uttered very loudly, startling us with its clarity.   

 “Please Dad, look at me,” I silently begged.  “Just one more time.”  But his eyes, blue eyes so like mine that when I looked into them was like looking in a mirror, refused to open. 

I gazed at the paleness of his still powerful arms.  The cancer had moved so swiftly that the ever present tan on his forearms hadn’t yet faded.   The white stripe on his left wrist was from the watch that he was never without except when he was sleeping. He had taken it off weeks ago. I couldn’t bear it.  The tears rolled down my cheeks as I lay next to him, quietly weeping.  

In the past, when I needed to be consoled, I would turn to Dad for a hearty bear hug, snug and secure against the bulk of his big belly.  Now the belly, while still big, was swollen by the cancer that was ravaging his body.  I couldn’t hug him, if I did, he would cry out in pain.  I had to settle for holding his inert hand. My big, brave dad.  

Mum recently told me that Dad told her to tell his girls to “be ready”.  Mum thinks he was telling us to have our hearts ready for Heaven. 

We have a different perspective.  We think Dad was letting us know, just like when we were little, that he is leaving soon and are we, as the PA  Dutchman says, “ready to went”? 

Dad, impatient as always, couldn’t wait for us any longer so he went on ahead. 

We will catch up eventually.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

starting lent off on the right foot

A good start to the day....I hit nothing but green lights on the way in to work.

I'm also giving up soda for Lent.  I do it every year.  But this time I'm also going to give up iced tea.  As a matter of fact, I'm only going to drink water until Easter.  Maybe an occasional glass of OJ.  I'm also going to cut way back on the sweets.

As part of my Lent plan, I'm also going to attempt to cut back on my time spent on Facebook.  I'm going to stop the Zuma playing.  That is my major Facebook addiction.

I'm also trying something different this year, I'm going to send some correspondence to friends and family.  It might be a card or it might be a wee giftie.  But I have found that people really do like to get real mail so that is what I'm going to do.

Send some mail to you and you and you!!

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Fat Tuesday

Today is Fat Tuesday....or Donut Day if  you are from Pennsylvania Dutch Country.  Last chance to eat like a pig until Easter.  Also a day to contemplate what to give up for Lent.

Every year I give up soda.  We'll see if I do the same this year.

Let's discuss tomorrow!

Thursday, March 03, 2011

proscratination thy name is jen

You all know my best, good friend Susanna, right?  We've been friends since the 4th grade.  She knows me so well.  Therefore, it should come as no surprise to her that I've just now mailed out her Christmas gifts.

Her name should be "patience".

Is there anybody else out there that I owe something to?  Whether it be a gift, card, money?

Let me know....I'd like to wipe the slate clean.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Closing up shop

I've been thinking....either I need to start posting again or close down Dr. Bombay permanently.


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Did you miss me?

I took a break from the blog. I would love to say it was because life was too busy. But that was not the case.

Mostly I've just uninspired. Plus I've been on Facebook.

Here's a bullet list update:

Only one major attack - diplopia - double vision. It sucked. I was off work for a week. Had to use up vacation time.

Got a haircut - nice and short. With face framing high lights

While Tom was on vacation for a week I got new carpet throughout the house. Berber. I'm quite happy with it.

Tom went on vacation to Wildwood for a week in July with his family. I stayed home. It was heaven on earth.

July marked my 20th High School class reunion. As usual, the drama I concocted in my head was non-existent.

While I was down for the count with the diplopia my sister came in for a flying visit on her way back from a trip to Washington State. She was jet-lagged and I was sick. Not our best visit but it is always good to see her. In May, my Cousin Heidi gave birth to a dumpling of a baby named Josephine or Josie for short.

My best good friend Sanna is getting married in October. I couldn't be happier for her. She has a good man in Dave.

Life is going swimmingly with Tom. We celebrated 16 years of marriage this July. Woo-hoo!

I turned 38 this past April. I'm getting old and my neck is showing it. I swear it is starting to turn crepey. Tom got me a lovely wooden bench for the front porch.

Household projects
I'm not a big project girl, so the fact that I took time out of my weekend to stain the jelly cupboard I've had for over 5 years is worth remarking about.

I've started going to the library again. I put going on hiatus while I finished reading all the books I've gotten as gifts. I'm reading Dick Francis right now.

As always I'm watching my movies from my queue. Right now I'm watching NYPD Blue and Barney Miller.

And now it is fall and I'm feeling the need to write again. Let us see if I can keep up the blogging!! Wish me luck.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

the end

I've been tied to this NaBloPoMo during this, the shortest month of the year and I am so tired of thinking up new ideas.

Next month the topic is "strange(ers).

You'll be delighted to know that I most certainly am not committing myself to the challenge.

Jen out.