Tuesday, March 31, 2009

like, like, like,

Note: Missy....you should be getting a package today.
I say "like" entirely too much for a person of my advancing years.
Like, do you know what I mean? 
Like, I when I try to, like, describe something, I, like, use the word "like", like way too often.
You would think I'm, like a high school kid.
Help me!!!!

Thursday, March 26, 2009


Cory - a package for you is on the way.
Jenster - email me your address nejyerf@hotmail.com
Missy - patience grasshopper
Yesterday morning when I arrived at work I was greeted by an agitated co-worker. She was angry with me.  She hollered and gave me some serious attitude.  This in turn made me so very, very angry. I tossed my calculator across the desk with a vengeance and sat fuming. I plotted how I was going to confront her and tell her that she's acting like a petulant child and that if she knew what was good for her, she would not talk to me this way. 
(This is one of the drawbacks of working with women. They can get so bitchy.  Plus it doesn't help that she is Colombian and to further complicate things, she is NEVER wrong.  It must be exhausting being perfect all the time!!)
I pulled myself together and after a cooling off period, I began to put into practice my tactic for dealing with assholes.
I got biblical on her ass. 
I do a combination of the following:
Turning the other cheek: 
"That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." Matthew 5:39 (KJV)
and heaping coals:
"Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head." Romans 12:20 (KJV)
Some people might prefer confrontation.  But I have found that in the work place confrontation leads to hurt feelings and festering animosity. I choose to play nice. 
Getting biblical works every time   Seems as though the Lord knows what he is talking about.
If doing the above two things doesn't work for you, you can go a step further, look the angry person straight in the eye and say to them ever so earnestly "You seem to be so miserable that I'm going to pray and ask God to help you find peace in your heart".  I guarantee that talking about God in such a personal and intimate way makes most people so very uncomfortable that will abandon their beef with you and send them scurrying for the safety of their desk/cubicle, leaving you the victor.

Friday, March 20, 2009

first day of spring, my foot!!

Two nights ago it was mild enough that I was able to go out without a coat. I even heard peepers for the first time.
This morning, the official first day of spring, I awoke to a light dusting of snow on the ground.
I was not amused.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

an octet of non sequiturs

Try as I might, I've never gotten the knack of using chop-sticks.
I've never really liked reading poetry. It makes my head hurt.
My all-time favorite Christmas movie is "White Christmas". I always thought Vera-Ellen looked like a Barbie doll come to life.
Do you think Michelle Obama has a nickname for Barack? 
There are personages of my acquaintance who are know-it-alls. After prolonged exposure, I just want to punch them in the mouth.
Did you know, Dorothy Parker was a profoundly unhappy woman with a razor tongue.  And she also had Communist leanings? 
For my Snyder County friends.... I can't decide which are better - peanut butter Easter eggs or coconut cream?  Dad bought me one of each from the Beavertown Fire Company.
My favorite quote from Beaches?  "Iris Myandowski is a hand-walking queer!"

Wednesday, March 11, 2009


Sanna and Melody....be on the lookout for a package coming in the mail this week.  Sanna, yours may have already arrived.  
Cory and Missy.....you're up next.
In other news, I have discovered that if a person quits commenting on the blogs she reads faithfully and only posts sporadically on her own blog, said blog soon becomes like a ghost town. 
See the tumbleweeds and dust blowing in the wind?
Tell me to get off my lazy ass and get back to posting!!!!
I'm depending on you.

Friday, March 06, 2009

(un)comfortably numb

One of the symptoms of MS is numbness.
Both my feet are pretty numb as well my legs and somedays it travels up to my ribcage. 
My left hand is also numb. 
Numb might not be the right word for it.  Altered sensation is more accurate. 
Be that as it may, the numbness in my extremities is not my point for this post.
The real numbness seems to be an emotional one. 
Sometimes I wonder if, like our country, I'm going into a bit of a depression.
Or maybe I'm finally growing up, because I'm finding it harder and harder to get worked up about things.  Things that used to bother me just slide right off, like water off a ducks back.
Take the skirmish Himself and I had the other day about the breadbox.
Jen: "WHY, in the name of all that is holy and wise, do you leave continue to leave the bread box lid down?  Seriously.  When you are done with the bread and you put it back in the bread box, just put the lid up. Look at how simple it is to close the lid".
Jen (opens bread box): Open
Jen (closes bread box with a bang):  CLOSED
Jen:  Now how hard was that?
I must say, he took the hollering and assorted histrionics like a champ and I thought my point was made.
The next morning the lid was down again. And I knew in my very soul that he did it on purpose.  Just to mess with me. However, because I had expended all my anger and frustration the day before, I just shrugged off my irritation and calmly closed the bread box myself. 
In the past,  I would have harangued him endlessly just to prove my point.  Oh, yes I was a joy to live with!!!
But now? 
Now I just take a deep breath and move on.
Life is too short and otherwise complicated to be all het up about nothing.
HOWEVER.....just try drinking out of my orange mug or sleeping in my bed without my knowledge or permission!
That is a whole different kettle of fish!

Wednesday, March 04, 2009


Even though I'm constantly jonesin' for a Pepsi I've stayed strong with my commitment of "no soda" for Lent.
However I did have two Dunkin Donuts today, a French cruller and a Boston Creme. One right after the other. Which left me decidedly nauseous but strangely satisfied.
Yesterday I sent the first of my packages out.  This one was to my mother.  Since she won't be writing in to tell us what she received, I'll let you know that I sent her an assortment of 1950's stickers and gift tags that she can use for the various crafty things she make. 
Who will be next to receive a gift from Jen?!?!