Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas Eve

We had icy conditions this morning and my boss called to tell me that since we were only doing a half-day anyway that I shouldn't risk it to come in.

I immediately went back to bed.

Now I'm watching my husband wrap the Christmas gifts. He gets so joy in wrapping the gifts which is just fine by me since I loathe wrapping gifts.

He started out the gift-wrapping with a movie - The Bridge on the Rive Kwai. Not exactly Christmas-y, but since he is wrapping I don't care.

Now we are watching James Bond - Diamonds Are Forever.

Later on we will watch A Christmas Story.

A Merry Christmas to all my lovely blog-friends.

Friday, December 19, 2008


1)Yesterday I ordered a brand new washer and dryer that will deliver the day after Christmas. This is our Christmas gift to each other. I couldn't ask for anything more.

2) It started to snow about 15 minutes ago. According to the weather channel it is going to snow all day. Hopefully we will leave early!

3) I got a package in the mail from my best good friend Sanna. I will resist temptation and open it on Christmas day.

4) Every day when I get home from work there is a UPS delivery on my front porch. I LOVE internet shopping

5) We got our Christmas bonus yesterday. In addition to a check we also each got an iPod touch. Now I just need to figure out how it works.

6) We use a carrier called Flash Logistics....every time I say their name I always think of the Flash Gordon song by Queen......
Flash - Ah - Saviour of the universe
Flash - Ah - He'll save ev'ry one of us

Words and Music by Brian May

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

christmas cards

Raise your hand if you can't live without a Christmans card from Jen.
I don't really feel like sending out cards this year. I did it last year, even though I was recuperating from a broken leg.

Usually I like to take the time to pick-out nice cards but not this year. If I DO send out cards it will be from a box of 40 cards that I got at the dollar store.

Raise your hand if you still want a cheap 2¢ card.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


The other night, when I was in CVS buying Nyquil for Tom, I looked around and suddenly realized that I could do all my Christmas shopping right there in the CVS.
They have something for for the nieces and nephews, perfume and aftershave for the grandparents, DVD's,  candy, candles, wrapping paper, cards, Tastykake Krimpets....they have it all.
And the best part? 
They are open 24 hrs and are right next door to Dunkin' Donuts where I can enjoy a glazed donut and a cup of hot chocolate after a strenuous night of shopping.

Friday, December 12, 2008


Every morning Tom puts on aftershave lotion.  Currently he's using Afta.  The scent of this lotion is particularly noisome. It wafts up into my nostrils and makes me want vomit.
This morning I plucked up the courage to tell him that I hate this aftershave lotion.  He informed me in no uncertain terms that he likes it and isn't going to change. 
I suggested a compromise that if he is going to continue to use it could he please put it on in the bathroom.
I heard him mumble as he went down the stairs "Oh, it's all about Jen".
My heart rejoiced.
It's taken him almost 15 years of marriage but he finally understands that indeed it IS all about Jen.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

words fail me

For those of you who don't wake up to the dulcet tones of ESPN's Mike and Mike in the Morning, you won't know that the New York Yankees are working on a deal with pitcher CC Sabathia.  Here's their offer:  $160million for 7 years.
Which will make him the highest paid pitcher in baseball history.
The Yankees better make the World Series next year or all of New York will be out for his blood!

Thursday, December 04, 2008

If I don't love me who will?

I'll never forget it... I was in 7th or 8th grade, walking home from school, running through the days events in my head.
I was thinking about the particularly bad lunch period that day when I inadvertantly pissed off an upperclassman by sitting in her seat at the lunch table.  And not moving. 
Little did I know that I had made an enemy who would treat me with great animosity throughout my high school career. 
This was when I was struck by the realization that everyone may not like me.  Up until then I was laboring on the delusion that I was warm and funny and beloved by all.
I was heartsick that there was someone out there that didn't like me.
Thirty years later, I just don't care if you like me or not because I am fabulous (or that is what I tell myself!).
As for the girl was so mean to me?
Sad to say, she got cancer and died before she was 35.

Monday, December 01, 2008


Today I had to send an email to a woman named Maria Digregorio.
But in my mind I keep calling her Cha-cha.
How many people know who Cha-cha Digregorio is?
Don't be shy.
Feel free to admit that you watch this movie every time it comes on TV.
I know I do.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Saturday, November 29, 2008

what i meant to do

today i meant to get more laundry done and maybe do some christmas shopping, go visit my sister-in-law and her family who are visiting from IN.

she is the mother of the zach attack.

do you remember him?

remind me to post a picture of him. we haven't seen him since last november.

instead i chose to spend the day ensconced on the couch watching tv.

tomorrow is the last day of nablopomo. i shan't miss it one single bit!!!

Friday, November 28, 2008

black friday

i did not venture out to the stores on this black friday.

oh no.

instead i did laundry and made a quick trip to the a&p where i got fixin's for next weeks meals.

my best good friend ginger called today for a chat-fest. SHE did leave her warm bed first thing this morning and went to her local wal-mart where it was utter madness.

she also said that while there she ran into three of our high school classmates.

that is the beauty of living in or near the town where you've grown up. it is not uncommon to bump into classmates at the mall.

i remember when i first moved to nj and was suddenly hit but the depressing thought that i could wander around the mall for hours and never run into one person that i would know.

it made me so very sad.

oh rats!!

i just remembered.....i needed to get eggs!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


this morning as i was walking out the front door, i slipped and fell on the icy front porch.

never fear, i did not break anything.

i'm just sore and bruised.

i would like to have seen a slow-motion video of me falling though, as i ended up spread-eagled on the front porch.

i landed with a resounding thud that actually made my husband put down the remote and come out to investigate the sound.

not only was the porch icy but so were the steps. since i was already down, i proceeded to navigate the steps on my bum.

great way to start a 4 day weekend!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


At work today I made a mistake.
I admitted to my boss that I made the mistake.
His response was to holler at me.
I don't mean a reprimand.
Oh no, he raised his voice and hollered at me.  
Nay, he roared at me.
He roared like a wounded bull.
He did this while he was on the cell phone all the way out in Brooklyn.
This is how my boss works.
He won't do it face to face but rather from a distance.
Remember the time he wrote me the note about internet usage while on company time?
He never actually addressed me personally. He sent me an email.
I guess I should be thankful that he's passive-aggressive like that.
But I gotta tell you, when he hollered at me with such ferocity, it took everything within me not to holler back.
Because it is my nature to smart-mouth.
Just ask my mother.

Monday, November 24, 2008


I would like to take this opportunity to announce that I am officially out of my size 16 pants!!!!
For a while there it looked liked I was going to have to go up to a size 18 but when ifelldownthestairsandbrokemyleg and ended up in the hospital I turned a corner.
Eating hospital/institutional food will do that to a person.
Plus I have trained myself to stop when I feel full.  Or rather when I feel the first signs of nausea.  Not that I was eating until I got sick but rather at the first hint of the feeling "I don't want any more of this" I push the plate or put the cookie/candybar/cupcake down.
Susanna and I had a discussion months ago about how we have been programmed from the time we were little to "finish what is on your plate".  Especially when we go to a restaurant. Honestly, I feel that the waiter/waitress is judging me if I leave food on my plate, which is just plain stupid. 
Should I really care what a perfect stranger thinks of my eating habits?
Now on the rare occasion when I do go out to eat, I just ask for a doggie bag and tell the waitress that if I eat all of my dinner then I won't have room for dessert and I really want that cake/ice cream/pie etc.
My size 14 pants thank me for bringing them back into circulation.
Just imagine what size I could wear if I exercised!?!?!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

short week

we've got a short week coming up.

only three days of work and then thanksgiving.

we'll be spending thanksgiving at tom's uncle Bruce and aunt Ellen.

his sister and her husband and their boys will be coming in from Indiana so Tom will get to play Uncle Tommy for a couple of days.

I am just going to revel in the fact that I won't have to make a meal on Thursday.

It also means that we are that much closer to the end of the NaBloPoMo nonsense because quite frankly, I'm tired of posting every day.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

even lamer post today

just got gas.

filled up my tank for 21.00

price? $1.73 cash


bought a gallon of milk - it was over $4.00

Maybe sister Jody can explain why milk prices are so high?!?!

Friday, November 21, 2008

lame excuses

i very nearly forgot to post this evening as i was so engrossed in my ironing.


i really was ironing.

and watching TV.

women behind bars on WE.

and then i remembered that i was supposed to try and get a repair set up for tom's xbox.

so that's done and so is this sad little blog post.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

we are in mourning

we are in mourning over here at the dr. bombay household.

tom's xbox 360 gave up the ghost.

we've seen the dreaded red rings.

plus there is a football game on tonight viewable only if we subscribe to the NFL network.

if it were still the fashion to drape the house in black crape and wear black armbands we would.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

and they will call him Pirate

Jody's kids named the puppy Pirate

This is himself

This is his sister Minnie

This is Pirate and Minnie and Morgan The Corgi

Jody also wants me to show you her rock garden. Wait until springtime, it will be beautiful!!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


I woke up in the wee hours of the morning with a monstrous headache.
I stumbled out of bed to the medicine cabinet, blindly shook out two Advil and fell back to sleep in the hopes that when I reawoke the headache would have vanished.
No such luck.
It had subsided from a scream to a dull roar, but it was still there, niggling at my temples and poking my eyes.
The headache followed me to work and as the day has worn on it is building back up into a scream.
Reasons for the headache?
Pick any one of the below:  
1) I slept funny on my pillow
2) I'm dehydrated
3) Tom turn on the kerosene heater
4) Onset of PMS
5) The weather - there must be a storm abrewin' 
I've been drinking lots of water to help but what else should I do?
Any suggestions for a surefire way of getting rid of a headache?

Sunday, November 16, 2008


the batteries on both of our remote phones need to be changed.

we've been without phones all day today since i didn't feel like going out to buy new batteries.

if you really need me you'll have to email me.

and no, we don't have cell phones.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Fawlty Towers

This weekend is dedicated to watching Fawlty Towers with John C

Now back to Basil, Sybil, Polly and Manuel.

Friday, November 14, 2008

"the sky is falling, the sky is falling"

Start your weekend by reading this article......this is so depressing

Celente Predicts Revolution, Food Riots, Tax Rebellions By 2012
Posted By admin On November 13, 2008 @ 10:14 am In Featured Stories 282 Comments
Paul Joseph WatsonPrison Planet.comThursday, November 13, 2008

Gerald Celente
The man who predicted the 1987 stock market crash and the fall of the Soviet Union is now forecasting revolution in America, food riots and tax rebellions - all within four years, while cautioning that putting food on the table will be a more pressing concern than buying Christmas gifts by 2012.
Gerald Celente, the CEO of Trends Research Institute, is renowned for his accuracy in predicting future world and economic events, which will send a chill down your spine considering what he told Fox News this week.
Celente says that by 2012 America will become an undeveloped nation, that there will be a revolution marked by food riots, squatter rebellions, tax revolts and job marches, and that holidays will be more about obtaining food, not gifts.
“We’re going to see the end of the retail Christmas….we’re going to see a fundamental shift take place….putting food on the table is going to be more important that putting gifts under the Christmas tree,” said Celente, adding that the situation would be “worse than the great depression”.
“America’s going to go through a transition the likes of which no one is prepared for,” said Celente, noting that people’s refusal to acknowledge that America was even in a recession highlights how big a problem denial is in being ready for the true scale of the crisis.
Celente says that by 2012 America will become an undeveloped nation, that there will be a revolution marked by food riots, squatter rebellions, tax revolts and job marches, and that holidays will be more about obtaining food, not gifts.

Celente, who successfully predicted the 1997 Asian Currency Crisis, the subprime mortgage collapse and the massive devaluation of the U.S. dollar, told UPI in November last year that the following year would be known as “The Panic of 2008,” adding that “giants (would) tumble to their deaths,” which is exactly what we have witnessed with the collapse of Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns and others. He also said that the dollar would eventually be devalued by as much as 90 per cent.
The consequence of what we have seen unfold this year would lead to a lowering in living standards, Celente predicted a year ago, which is also being borne out by plummeting retail sales figures.
The prospect of revolution was a concept echoed by a British Ministry of Defence report last year, which predicted that within 30 years, the growing gap between the super rich and the middle class, along with an urban underclass threatening social order would mean, “The world’s middle classes might unite, using access to knowledge, resources and skills to shape transnational processes in their own class interest,” and that, “The middle classes could become a revolutionary class.”
In a separate recent interview, Celente went further on the subject of revolution in America.
“There will be a revolution in this country,” he said. “It’s not going to come yet, but it’s going to come down the line and we’re going to see a third party and this was the catalyst for it: the takeover of Washington, D. C., in broad daylight by Wall Street in this bloodless coup. And it will happen as conditions continue to worsen.”

“The first thing to do is organize with tax revolts. That’s going to be the big one because people can’t afford to pay more school tax, property tax, any kind of tax. You’re going to start seeing those kinds of protests start to develop.”
“It’s going to be very bleak. Very sad. And there is going to be a lot of homeless, the likes of which we have never seen before. Tent cities are already sprouting up around the country and we’re going to see many more.”
“We’re going to start seeing huge areas of vacant real estate and squatters living in them as well. It’s going to be a picture the likes of which Americans are not going to be used to. It’s going to come as a shock and with it, there’s going to be a lot of crime. And the crime is going to be a lot worse than it was before because in the last 1929 Depression, people’s minds weren’t wrecked on all these modern drugs – over-the-counter drugs, or crystal meth or whatever it might be. So, you have a huge underclass of very desperate people with their minds chemically blown beyond anybody’s comprehension.”
The George Washington blog has compiled a list of quotes attesting to Celente’s accuracy as a trend forecaster.
“When CNN wants to know about the Top Trends, we ask Gerald Celente.”— CNN Headline News
“A network of 25 experts whose range of specialties would rival many university faculties.”— The Economist
“Gerald Celente has a knack for getting the zeitgeist right.”— USA Today
“There’s not a better trend forecaster than Gerald Celente. The man knows what he’s talking about.”- CNBC
“Those who take their predictions seriously … consider the Trends Research Institute.”— The Wall Street Journal
“Gerald Celente is always ahead of the curve on trends and uncannily on the mark … he’s one of the most accurate forecasters around.”— The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
“Mr. Celente tracks the world’s social, economic and business trends for corporate clients.”— The New York Times
“Mr. Celente is a very intelligent guy. We are able to learn about trends from an authority.”— 48 Hours, CBS News
“Gerald Celente has a solid track record. He has predicted everything from the 1987 stock market crash and the demise of the Soviet Union to green marketing and corporate downsizing.”— The Detroit News
“Gerald Celente forecast the 1987 stock market crash, ‘green marketing,’ and the boom in gourmet coffees.”— Chicago Tribune
“The Trends Research Institute is the Standard and Poors of Popular Culture.”— The Los Angeles Times
“If Nostradamus were alive today, he’d have a hard time keeping up with Gerald Celente.”— New York Post
So there you have it - hardly a nutjob conspiracy theorist blowhard now is he? The price of not heeding his warnings will be far greater than the cost of preparing for the future now. Storable food and gold are two good places to make a start.
Article printed from Infowars:
URL to article:

Thursday, November 13, 2008

The DHL man

I'm guessing the DHL delivery man is single.
To begin with, he is a freaky looking little man with slightly protuberant eyes, a receding hairline and bad breath.
In general, separately these are things that a woman might be able to live with but combine them with a monstrously long black nose hair and you just know that this man has no woman in his life.
Because seriously, would you let your man go out of the house like that?
The whole time he was talking to me, I was trying so hard no to stare in rapt fascination at his nose, thinking at the same time "I'm SO going to blog about this"

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

silver threads among the gold

Have we discussed the fact that I'm slowly going grey?

Wrinkles I don't mind.

The age spots that I'm convincing myself are really freckles I don't mind either.

But the silvery strands twinkling in the light?

I'm taking them as a personal insult.

It is unsettling.

I always said that I would go grey naturally.

But I didn't expect it to happen quite so soon.

So the question becomes... should I cover the grey or not?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


i want to know why a person feels it necessary to pay for their whopper value meal with a credit/debit card and hold up the line at the drive thru?????

Monday, November 10, 2008


you'll have to wait one more day.

i fell asleep when i got home and woke up irritable and grumpy.

i had to make dinner AND clear up.

i'm trying to institute a plan at our house where if i cook he has to clean up.

so far he's not buying it.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

tune in tomorrow

tune in tomorrow when i will reminisce about last year when ifelldownthestepsandbrokemyleg.

Friday, November 07, 2008

flouncy, flouncy

Just because there hasn't been any kind of announcement or exchangement of rings does not deter me from keeping my eye out for all things wedding for Susanna.

Just yesterday I saw this dress.
If you knew Sanna like I know Sanna, you would know that she's not a ruffly, flouncy kind of girl. But I think she would be stunning in this dress. I especially like the detail on the back of the skirt.

I'm going to keep sending her pictures and ideas. That way when he finally does pop the question we can go into full planning mode and have him up to the altar before he knows what has hit him!!

Thursday, November 06, 2008

show me your 80's music

The other day it occured to me that there is a whole generation of kids out there who might just be on the verge of discovering Peter Gabriel for the very first time.
Oh I know he might not be to everybody's taste, but who can forget the scene in "Say Anything" when John Cusack as Lloyd Dobler hefts the gargantuan boom-box over his head and blasts "In Your Eyes" to Ione Skye's Diane Court?
Which 80's artist would you like to introduce to this generation?
Do you think they know Paul Simon's "Graceland"?

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

If your man won last night.....Congratulations.

If your man lost last night, my condolences.

I guess this means that Tina Fey can once again put her full concentration back into "30 Rock".

And the rest of us can start thinking about Christmas shopping!

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

vote don't vote I don't care

I know today is Election Day and I should be posting something all "Go Out And Vote, rah rah rah" but that just bores me to tears.
So instead I'm going to thank my my blog friend Melody who sent me a trick or treat box.
It was a nice little box lined with orange tissue paper and chock-full of different kinds of candies including Smarties.
For the record, Smarties consumed in mass quantities do NOT make a person smarter.
Also for the record, the way to Jen's heart is to send her a box of candy.

Monday, November 03, 2008

football and pirate puppies

Football has infiltrated my life to such a degree that today when my boss and I had a disagreement over something and decided that we were both at fault I couldn't help but use a football term "off-setting penalties"

In other news, my sister is the proud new mama to two Jack Rusell terriers.

She is allowing me some input on the boy puppy's name.

I suggested "Arf".

That went over like a lead balloon with nephew Jason.

He called me last night to tell me that they are thinking of calling the puppy "Pirate" because he has a black patch on one eye.

I was thinking that perhaps my lovely blog friends would like to toss in their two cents.

We have until Tuesday to come up with a good pirate name.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

sunday dinner

Tonight we are having one of my favorite meals.

Ham slice
Kraft mac and cheese
Baked beans - Bush's grillin beans bourbon and brown sugar

Quick,easy and delicious.

But would someone please tell me why the mac & cheese box is so difficult to open?

Even though it clearly states "to open push here" it needs way more than just a push with my thumb. I always need to stab it with a knife first.

Saturday, November 01, 2008


Yesterday I went to see my neurologist.

While there I told him about my bout with vertigo and he explained to me that it could have been one of two things.

Either the MS, because apparently MS patients are prone to vertigo or it was the the way I held my head in the dentists' chair.

From the National MS Society website:

Dizziness is a common symptom of MS. People with MS may feel off balance or lightheaded. Much less often, they have the sensation that they or their surroundings are spinning -- a condition known as vertigo.

These symptoms are due to lesions—damaged areas—in the complex pathways that coordinate visual, spatial, and other input to the brain needed to produce and maintain equilibrium.
Consult a physician when dizziness or vertigo becomes bothersome or lasts a long time. Usually, the symptoms respond to an anti motion-sickness drug such as
meclizine (Antivert®, Bonine®, or Dramamine®), the newer skin patches that deliver scopolamine, or the anti-nausea drug ondansetron (Zofran®). In very severe cases of dizziness or vertigo, a short course of corticosteroids.

Disorders of the Middle Ear Can Also Cause Dizziness
Other conditions that may cause dizziness include middle ear inflammation and benign tumors of the acoustic nerve that connects the ear and the brain.

Gives new meaning to the term "dizzy blonde", doesn't it?!?!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween

I have resolved to do NaBloPoMo again this year.
For those of you who don't know, that means every day for the month of November I'll be posting. It might not be much but it will be something.
Every single day.
Anticiptation abounds!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008


In case you hadn't noticed, I was not around last week.
I have a good excuse. I became ill.
Monstrously ill.
Gravely ill.
At deaths' door ill.
Ok, maybe not quite that bad.
But I was really  sick.
Remember the dentist appointment?
The appointment went beautifully. 
I had four fillings and a scolding from Kevin the cute hygenist about my lack of flossing.
After the dentist it all went downhill.
I woke up Thursday night/early Friday morning with severe vertigo that seized hold and would not let go for days. 
I spent Friday and half of Saturday throwing up whenever I moved my head too much.
TV was out.
As was reading.
I was reduced to lying almost comatose on the couch in between bouts of nausea.
When I finally roused myself enough to go to the Dr, it turned out that I has some kind of inner ear inflammation.
He prescribed a weeks worth of prednisone.
My equilibirium was off.  I couldn't sit up straight.  I kept listing starboard.
I couldn't keep my balance if my life depended on it.
I was a mess.
I'm doing much better now.
Except for the fact that we had 4-6" of snow yesterday and as a result we've no power and an uprooted tree in the back yard.
Seriously...snow before Halloween?!?!?!

Thursday, October 16, 2008


Today is my second try at the dentist.  I've confirmed my appointment so I know it is the right time.
Wish me luck!
In other news, my sister read my blog for the first time and wants everyone to know that even though she can lift a 100lb baby calf she is a delicate, fragile flower.
She also thinks I'm weird for having a blog and putting out such personal information for all and sundry to read.
Truthfully, that hurt my feelings. 
I don't consider myself weird.
Different perhaps.
Eccentric maybe.
But definitely not weird.
But then it occurred to me that Jody is not into the internet and all its wonder and glory.
You see, she has a real, full life.
Let me itemize just a few of the things my sister can do/does:
1) She works part-time for an upholsterer
2) She knows how to re-cane a chair
3) She can deliver a baby cow
4) She keeps chickens
5) She raises sheep
6) She shears sheep
7) She spins the wool from her sheep
8) She dyes the wool from her sheep
9) She knits with the wool from her sheep
10) She raises pigs
11) She arranges for her pigs to be butchered
12) She rides her horse 
13) She has a loom on which she weaves beautiful things
14) She is building a rock garden with giant Vermont rocks
15) She works two days a week as a church secretary
16) She is raising 3 three kids, 3 kittens and a Corgi dog named Morgan
17) She does the chores at the barn
18) She is involved in community activities
19) She keeps a close eye on her aged in-laws
20) She keeps the books for a business that is very often in the red
21) She will rebuild her front porch next spring
22) She is helping her husband and her neighbor build a pole barn on her property
23) She grows beautiful vegetables and herbs in her garden
24) She dries the herbs and then makes catnip mice and sends them to my cats
25) She is teaching her children how to become responsible, independent, free-thinking people
Shall I go on?
With all these myriads of things that occupy her life,  it is no wonder she thinks that someone who sits in front of a computer talking/writing about her trivial life is weird.
But I would venture to say that she will keep coming back to read what nonsense her big sister is writing about today.
And I'm sure, if pressed, she will contribute some "Notes from the Northeast Kingdom" for your reading enjoyment this winter.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


I must share this with you and yes, I am well aware that it borders on the vulgar but nevertheless it must be told:


My husband told me about an NFL football player that couldn't play this past Sunday because of an undisclosed illness.


During a radio interview, Boomer Esiason divulged that the player had a staph infection that caused his manly bits to swell up to the "size of grapefruits" (that might be hyperbole on Tom's part)


I winced in sympathy.


But the mental image I have of a big, tough NFL player mincing along bow-legged will be with me for days.


Now you too can have this image in YOUR brain.


No need to thank me.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Pink Pearl

Ah, the pink pearl eraser.

Everyone, at some point in their school career has used a pink pearl eraser.

I must have used an entire eraser each year that I took algebra and trig and geometry in high school.

Over the weekend I started to watch “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” and it reminded me of the list I found last month when Ginger was out visiting and we were going through my box of old high school memories.

Amiable Agate
Alluring Amber
Ardent Amethyst
Charming Coral
Daring Diamond
Enticing Emerald
Fickle Fluorite
Gracious Garnet
Joyful Jade
Lovely Lapis-Lazuli
Mysterious Moonstone
Obscure Obsidian
Ominous Onyx
Obstreperous Opal
Pink Pearl
Pernicious Peridot
Ravishing Ruby
Startling Sapphire
Sinful Sardonyx
Tempting Topaz
Zealous Zircon

This, my friends, was a brain storm I had in Algebra II.

I remember it distinctly.

I was staring at my pink pearl eraser and it suddenly occurred to me that Pink Pearl would be an excellent name for a madam.

She would work at "The Jewel Box" and the girls would have jewel names.

My friends all liked the idea and picked their monikers: Ginger was Ravishing Ruby, Sanna was Gracious Garnet , Jess was Ardent Amethyst and I, of course was Pink Pearl.

I barely passed Algebra II that year.

Who would you be?

Dentist Part Deux I screwed up my appointment time yesterday and had to reschedule for Thursday.  I'm still dreading it. But now I have time to catch up on flossing!!
I have a much better post in the works.  Come back a little later in the day.

Monday, October 13, 2008

the dentist

Lately, my enjoyment of all things sweet and delicious has diminished due to several cavities.
I have been ignoring them for some time, but when I can't even eat peanut M&M's without wincing it is time for a visit to the dentist. 
I have a dentist appointment scheduled for 5:30 today.
I am dreading this appointment.
Not because of anticipated pain, I had braces for 4 years and a little pain in the dentist chair is nothing compared to pain in the orthodontist chair!
I am dreading this visit because when my dentist asks me if I have been flossing regularly I'm going to squirm on the chair, evade the question and pretty much flat out lie to her. 
Truth be told - I DON'T floss regularly, witness the three root canals I've had in the past 5 years!
So if the dentist tells me I need to have yet another root canal I will have no one to blame but myself.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Notes from the Northeast Kingdom

1) The day after I arrived, my sister helped a cow deliver a calf.  I wished I could have been there to watch.  I'm really hoping she washed her hands after! One year when I was visiting, we had to go out into the pasture to look for a calf that had been born overnight.  After we found him, my sister hefted that 100+ lb baby calf over her shoulders and we walked triumphantly back to the barn.  I stepped in a cow pat on the way back.
2) There is a meat eating dinosaur even bigger than the T Rex.  Jason can pronounce all of the dinosaur names, so when I was reading him his library book about the dinosaurs I had to turn to him for the exact pronunciation.
3) If a cow is delivered of twins - a heifer and a bull - there is an 80% chance that the heifer will be sterile.
4) Verna, my littlest niece is fully potty-trained but refuses to use the big potty.  She uses a little training potty. Her mother informed her that if she is going to use the little potty then she needs to be responsible for emptying it.  Verna doesn't always remember......
5) Oftentimes, for dessert, my sister's family has bowls of maple syrup.  Just plain maple syrup.  It was the most amazing thing.  One minute there was noise and confusion and whining and then John (her husband) brought out the jug of maple syrup and poured bowls  for the three kids and himself.  Silence reigned as they all tucked in to their bowls and started slurping away, not unlike eating soup.  John and the girls like the light syrup while Jason prefers the darker syrup.  The light syrup is the grade A stuff.  John sugars the syrup himself every spring from the sugar bush that has been supplying sap for maple syrup since his great-grandfathers time. 
6) This is where Jody and her family live.  Craftsbury, VT  is in the Northeast Kingdom and is quiet and peaceful.  The sky seems so close when you are up on the mountain.  On Friday morning it was 45° and Jody had the wood stove going.  Her father-in-law says that he can remember a year where it snowed every month. 
7) Because it is a farm, there are always cats around. Jody brought three wee kittens down from the barn to be housecats.  Verna walks around with one little kitty draped over her arm, looking not unlike my grandmother carrying her great big black purse. Jason picks up a kitty by the scruff of the neck and lets it dangle there saying "This is how Daddy picks up the kitty". It makes both me and the kitty nervous as evidenced by the plaintive "Mew, mew" coming from the kitty.  Phoebe wants to show me how the all black kitty can do back flips.  If the kittens survive the man-handling by the kids they will be well equipped for life in the house although I'm sure they would prefer  life in the barn where the only requirements are to catch mice and drink warm milk straight from the cow.
8) Jody works two days a weeks at the United Church of Craftsbury  as the church secretary.  The church is a stones throw from the Craftsbury library.  The library is beautiful. There is a roofed porch with a windowed door that leads into an anteroom, where the library patrons are encouraged to take off their shoes before entering the library proper.  I'm sure this is greatly appreciated by the library staff, especially during mud season.
9) Bella is Jody's BIL's dog.  She is an English Mastiff.  She is large and kind and truthfully a little silly for such a big dog.  She sounds ferocious as she lets out a deep-throated "WOOF" when someone comes to the door.  For a big dog she is very light on her feet and does not jump up on visitors, which is good for me since I'm a little unsteady on my feet.  A week before I arrived, Bella was in heat and was unable to get any satisfaction from Jody's little Corgi dog named Morgan.  Morgan and Bella are chums and engage in regular evening wrestling matches.  When Morgan becomes overwrought with excitement, Bella calmly and gently engulfs his head with her mouth and Morgan becomes deathly still. He must feel as though the all lights have gone out!  Jody said that when Bella was in heat and not really interested in wrestling, Morgan was bewildered by the change in his playmate.  Bella has since come around and although she doesn't know it yet, is scheduled for a trip to the vet later this month to get spayed.
10) Jody allows her kids to have gum, even though Verna can't keep the gum in her mouth.  She is always playing with it and stretching it out.  When Mama, Phoebe and Verna were walking back from the barn, Verna's gum fell out of her mouth onto the dirt road.  She wept some bitter tears and told Mama that she couldn't chew it anymore because "there is road on my gum."  When she told me her sad story I was all set to give her another piece of gum but Mama said "No, it is time for bed".  Aunt Jen promised Verna and Phoebe that she would give them gum before she left for NJ the next morning.  Jason protested, "But I won't get any, I'll be in school".  I promised to put a piece in an envelope for him so he would have something to look forward to when he came home from school.
The next morning, when I came into the house, the very first thing Phoebe and Verna said to me was "Aunt Jen, can we have our gum now!?!"
11) As do so many Vermonters, Jody heats her house with a woodstove. John told me that he cuts wood for their house, his sister's house, his parents house and the sugar house.  It averages out to about 5 cords of wood per house.  He cuts and splits and stacks this wood all by himself.  Jody says he would almost rather work in the woods than do the dairy farming.   Either way, it all boils down to a lot of hard work!!
Thus concludes the notes from my visit north.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

in other news

Monday night I stayed up way past my bedtime to watch the Monday Night Football game.

It was worth it to watch Reggie Bush run the ball for not one but TWO punt returns for touchdowns.

Tuesday I went to the eye doctor for a regular eye exam and dropped $600.00 on new glasses and contacts. I stayed up way past my bedtime playing a video game. I've been stuck at this one level for the last month and I FINALLY passed it. I was so tempted to wake up Tom so he could share in my jubilation, but common sense prevailed.

Tonight is laundry and the finale of Project Runway and then to bed by 11pm or my name ain't Jen!

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

freckles and phoebe

When I was a little girl, I was all over freckles.

I was so freckly my mother wrote a story about my freckles aptly titled "Jenny's Freckles" and my Papa would tease me mercilessly that I was "rusting out". Over time the freckles on my face faded and I was left with just freckles on my arms and the story of "Jenny's Freckles".

Turns out my little niece Phoebe has freckles as well.

"Phoebe" I exclaimed in surprise and delight, "you have freckles on your nose".

"I know" she calmly responded, obviously used to people pointing out the obvious.

Monday, October 06, 2008

the weary traveller returns

I don't know if you noticed, but I was away last week.
I went up to Vermont to visit with my sister and her family.
I have stories to tell and bits of farm lore to share.
All of which will be forthcoming, but in the meantime anything new and exciting happen while I was gone?

Friday, September 26, 2008

64min and 38 seconds to save the world

Even though Sanna and I communicate daily via IM or email, I thought after the proposal question we should talk person to person and called her on her cell phone Sunday evening.

As it turned out, she was driving back from a weekend spent with Dave in Virginia and was falling asleep at the wheel and needed some company. Being the good friend that I am, I started talking and according to the phone bill, we talked for 64min and 38 seconds.

What, you may ask, could we find to talk about for 64min and 38 seconds?

Oh you know.....this, that and the other thing.

She did divulge, that after due consideration and after reading the thoughtful comments from the readers of Calling Dr. Bombay, she has decided to wait for Dave to do the proposing. I think it was the final comments from GLove that did the trick.

Do you have long, luxurious phone calls with your friends, long distance charges be damned?

Or am I the only one that is so carefree with her money?

Thursday, September 25, 2008

resentments and silver linings

It's not always fun and games over here at Calling Dr. Bombay.
Some mornings I wake up with a heart full of resentment.
Resentment over the fact that my husband won't rinse his dishes and put them in the dishwasher on a regular basis.
Resentment over the fact that I live 3 hours away from my parents and best good friends
Resentment over the fact that I live even further away from my sister and her kids
Resentment over the fact that I will never again be able to walk a straight line or trip lightly down the stairs.
Resentment over the fact that I have to go to a wedding next weekend and mingle with people I don't know.
Resentment over the fact that it is a good bet that my husband will drink too much at the wedding and I'll have to drive him home.
Resentment over the fact that my tooth aches when I eat anything sweet which means a trip to the dentist (please dear god, not another root canal)
Resentment over the fact that by the end of the day I will have developed a pounding headache which is a clear indication that I need to get a stronger contact lens prescription.
But then I sit myself down for a stern talking to and try to look for the silver linings: 
1) At least I have a dishwasher and electricity and don't have to wash my dishes in a bucket of water like some people in Houston have to do.
2) That is what the telephone and the internet is for, not to mention old-fashioned letter writing
3) I'm driving up to Vermont to spend the week with my sister and her kids
4) At least I can walk unassisted and don't need a wheelchair just yet
5) I'll get a free lunch
6) He'll owe me big-time
7) This is an added incentive to quit eating sweet things
8) Take two Advil and be thankful that it's not optic neuritis or diplopia
What do you resent?
And can you find the silver lining?

Monday, September 22, 2008

It's Elemental

When Ginger was visiting me last month, in a fit of nostalgia we went through my high school memorabilia.

I came across this notecard from 12th grade chemistry

When I was taking the class I barely understood it and now it is complete gibberish.

What I do remember is this:

Fe = Iron
How I remember this is that a farrier (which starts with an F) is another name for a blacksmith and he puts IRON shoes on horses

Pb = Lead
How I remember this is from the book "The Mouse and The Motorcycle"by Beverly Cleary . The way Ralph S. Mouse gets his motorcycle to move is by making the sound "Pb-pb-b-b-b. Pb-pb-b-b-b." Motorcycle=getting the lead out.

Mo = Molybdenum
One of my best good friends in high school had the name Molly. Molly = Moly(bnenum)

Sn = Tin
I remember this one because in order to cut tin you need tin sn(ips)

And that is pretty much all I remember of chemistry.

Although in my job I do on occasion have need for Potassium = K, Magnesium = Mg, Calcium = Ca, Titanium = Ti

Which ones do you remember and how?

Friday, September 19, 2008


Thank you internets, for your wise counsel on the question of whether Susanna should propose to Dave. Although I feel compelled to mention that some of you missed the point of the question. 
It wasn't so much whether or not Sanna and Dave should get engaged/married, but rather should SHE ask HIM to marry her.
Nevertheless, I'm sure Sanna will take what you learned people have said under advisement. 
I will issue periodic reports on the situation as it develops further.
I know that with the all other major things going on in the world right now this whole question might seem trivial, but I think it vividly points out that life continues to go on, even in the midst of a hurricane or a Wall Street tumble.
I will leave Sanna with this final thought (courtesy of SIL Jenny)
Britney proposed to KFed......
Now back to our regularly scheduled programming:
Two Songs I'm Really Digging Right Now:
Sandcastle Disco - Solange Knowles
Chasing Pavements - Adele
Two Think I'm Eating
Chocolate covered popcorn - (Thank you Cory)
Leftover candy from the Labor Day parade (Thank you nephew Alex for collecting said candy!!)
Two Movies I Recently Watched and Loved:
Gunga Din - why does India seem so romantic in the movies
The Purple Rose of Cairo -  even though he might have only a small part - any movie with Edward Herrman is immediately improved
Two Things I'm Contemplating Purchasing:
A new winter coat from LL Bean - faux shearling parka or lambswool duffle
A new comforter for our bed - goose down or flannel
Two Options We Are Debating As A New Source of Heat for the House:
Pellet stove
Gas stove

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

help me to help her

Last week I got the following email from Sanna (for any new readers, Sanna is one of my best good friends since grade school days):

This was the email in its entirety:

i'm considering proposing to Dave.
what do you think

She sent this email to both me and her sister Johanna.

Dave is Sanna's boyfriend .

Here is some background on Dave and their relationship:

1) They met April 14 2007 on a camping trip set up by a mutual friend
2) Their first date was May 18 2007, she went to his house - he had tickets to see a concert but then lingered over dinner and opted to go to his house and have a firepit in his yard and drink wine
3) They are both 36
4) He was married for 4 years, no children, he's been divorced for 7 years
5) She has had several serious relationships
6) She lives in PA - he lives in VA
7) She makes more than he does
8) He is in interviews about a job in PA near hers
9) Which means they are talking about his moving in with her
10)He is well liked by her family and friends

When I read the email my first thought was to say "DON'T DO IT....WAIT FOR HIM TO ASK YOU"

And then my second thought was..... "don't offer your friend relationship advice....remember the whole Colin debacle?".

The Colin debacle was quite simply Susanna asking me for advice and I foolishly advising.


I am a pragmatic.

I think Sanna should wait and let it evolve naturally.

Johanna on the other hand, was all for it.

Her suggestion went something like this:
it seems like you are itchy to give him a special gift to show him how special he is to you, so, why don't you just buy him a ring and keep it on your person whenever you guys are together
and then when/if he proposes to you with a ring, you can have your beautiful moment and then say, 'wait, i have something for you too'.that way you both have a special token and you get to experience areal proposal from the boy who loves you so much and vice versa.

But she is a romantic.

There are two TV instances that stand out in my mind as reasons for the woman not to propose:

1) Gilmore Girls - Lorelai proposed to Luke and he accepted. He later flung that back in her face
2) Sex and the City - Charlotte inadvertently proposed to herself. She later got a huge Tiffany ring but still, it was a foreboding.

Have any of you ever proposed?

Would you propose?

How would you advise Sanna?

Friday, September 12, 2008


When you hear the word Jaws what pops into your mind?

Jaws the movie

The James Bond villain Jaws

(The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker)

And if you are a sports fan ......
Ron Jaworski, former Philadelphia Eagles quarterback and currently a football analyst for ESPN.

While I am a sports fan, I am NOT a Ron Jaworski fan. The reasons are many. Too many to mention here, but just know that I can't bear to hear him talk. According to my husband, Jaws actually does know his football (and is not afraid to tell you!!)

The other night I had a dream that I was on the sidelines at a Pittsburgh Steelers game. I was tossing the football back and forth with a nameless Steelers player, when I was brutally tackled from the side. After I picked myself up and dusted myself off I was unpleasantly surprised to discover that I had been tackled by none other than Ron Jaworski.

I was mildly irritated all day.

I even called Tom at work to tell him about my dream.

He consoled me with this thought, "It could have been worse, it could have been Joe Theisman."

Tom knows that my disgust for Joe Theisman runs deep and true!
And that, my friends, is how I know that football season has come to my house!
Has it come to yours?!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

baby got back

There was a time when I was in high school that I was obsessed with my ass.
I was sure that it was too big.
I wore long sweaters and big shirts to disguise it. 
Every day in the cafeteria I took the long way round a table of upperclassmen boys because I was sure that Corey Hoffman  would be staring at my ginormous rear-end and could never ever love me!!!
Over time, my obsession faded away and I never really worried about my body again. 
But this morning prior to getting dressed, I was looking at myself in all my naked splendor in the mirror and it suddenly occurred to me that my 9th grade self would be positively mortified and quite possibly incapacitated if she could see the sheer size and magnitude of her ass now!!!

Tuesday, September 09, 2008


Weather - It was pouring down rain here in NJ this morning.  The sky turned as dark as night and the heavens opened up.  For a while it was like our own mini-hurricane.  As luck would have it, I left the living room windows wide open.
Appearance - I have a pimple on my forehead. It looks like I have been shot right between the eyes. As such, I'm wearing my hair very low over the forehead today.
Sports - So far football has been awesome - sidenote to Tom Brady and Peyton Manning:  practice makes perfect.
TV: 30 Rock and The Office are coming back. WOO-HOO!
Books - I'm re-reading the Anne of Green Gables series. They just never get old.
Movies - I just saw Waitress over the weekend.  Keri Russell totally surprised me.  She is actually quite funny.
Food - The season of candy corn is rapidly approaching AND my blog-friend Cory has promised me a delicacy. Chocolate covered popcorn.   
Clothes - Time to put away the summer wardrobe and bring out the fall.  I need some new clothes.  Maybe something in burnt orange for fall?
Husband - Nothing bad to report here. I'm quite liking him at the momemnt. 
Health - The MS is held in abeyance and I haven't fallen down in months (knock on wood)
Wealth - Got a 5% cost of living pay raise
Happiness - As always I am happy but yet never too far from a moment of unhappiness. 
How about you, my lovely little blog friends?  Any notes you want to share with the class?

Thursday, September 04, 2008

blue no more

Because I was feeling blue and in need of a friend, I called Ginger last Thursday and asked her if she would come out and spend Labor Day weekend with me. 
And she did.
We sat around and gossiped and argued and laughed and reminisced and were generally silly creatures all weekend.
It was good.
By the time she left on Monday I was no longer blue.
In other news, I have finally slogged my way through the last of the blogs in my blog reader. I kinda took some time off from the whole commenting thing.  Hey, it was summer and I needed a vacay!!
So to all of my lovely blog friends.... fear not, I will be returning to form and resuming commenting. 
Further news.... I am finally reading Charlie and The Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl.   
As a matter of fact, I think for the month of September (which for me is murder mystery month) I am also going to re-read some books from my childhood.
What are you going to read this month?

Friday, August 29, 2008

waxing philosophical

I've been thinking about this for days.....friendships are very much like trying to parallel park.

When parallel parking it may take several false starts to get into the space just right. Sometimes you get too close to the car in front of you or you back up into the car behind you or it turns out that no matter how you try, your car just doesn't fit into the space at all and you have to go down to the next street to find an empty space.

The same with friends....

Sometimes you get too close and allow too much information to pass between you so that things get uncomfortably intimate.

Sometimes one friend isn't afraid to say what he or she thinks and manages with a sharp tongue to back all over the other person. Feelings are left crumpled, not unlike front headlights.

In my experience, when either of these things happen, I take a moment and examine the friendship to see if it is worth keeping.

Sometimes, it is I who have done the backing over the feelings and it is I who need to make the necessary repairs to keep the friendship running.

It always saddens me when I come to the realization that the friendship is just never going to work. And that probably I should keep it very superficial.

Sometimes we get lucky and find friendships that are easy-going and that can withstand both the getting too close and the backing over. These friendships are like parking in a grassy field. No lines to stay between, no worrying about jumping the curb, just drive in and park. I am lucky that I have two such best, good friends in Sanna and Ginger.

So it is nothing but love for Sanna and Ginger today!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

cleanliness is next to godliness

As we speak, a team of highly organized, professional cleaning peoples are hard at work cleaning up 4 months worth of filth in my house.
That's right, I pay people to clean my house.
They do it in under an hour, while I am at work.  So when I come home today, I'm going to find a sparkling clean house.
Luxury.....sheer luxury
As a special treat to myself, I've also asked them to please clean out the refrigerator. So all I will have to do is throw out the moldy leftovers!
And tomorrow?
The carpet cleaners are coming!!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


Folks....I have lost my edge.
Just last weekend, I was made the butt of a joke that I did not find in the least bit humorous.
The person who made the joke/comment however, thought that she was simply hilarious and cackled to herself while I sat in abject embarrassment, mute,  unable to form an appropriate comeback.
Anyone who knows me well, knows that I can usually hold my own in a verbal sparring match.
Two days later, I'm STILL trying to come up with a smart retort.
I've got nothing.
What is the wait time for a good comeback/smackdown?
I'm thinking a week is too long.....

Friday, August 22, 2008


I should clarify my earlier post....when I say "big" I don't mean fat, I mean muscular. 
Any one of these girls could snap the likes of Nicole Kidman or Paris Hilton like a twig.
And that is what I love about them.


How twisted is it that because I am so used to looking at wafer-thin models and actresses and other quasi-celebrity types that when I am watching the Olympics and seeing normal, healthy-looking women athletes doing what they've trained for years to do, in the back of my mind I'm thinking "Boy, is she a big girl"?


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Do you know what I hate....

You know what I hate….

I hate the euphemism “va-jay-jay”. I prefer “hoo-hah”

I hate that Christina Applegate had to have a double mastectomy. At 36 years of age

I hate that no matter how many times I start to read “House of Seven Gables” I put it aside in favor of any other book or the latest Collections Etc. catalog

I hate that I have no real desire to exercise. Not even lifting little hand weights in my chair like I did when I was in rehab.

I hate that my love for Oreos has waned and I hate that I have no explanation for this strange turn of events.

You know what I love……

I love Meryl Streep in all her guises and accents ( I just saw Sophies Choice for the first time)

I love the smell of freshly cut onion grass

I love my brand-new 500ct plum colored sheets that are waiting to be put on the bed.

I love that I have something deliciously wonderful to look forward to for next week.

I love this conversation that my mother had with my little 5 yr old niece Phoebe when Phoebe called to tell Grandma that she lost her first tooth:
‘She also told me Daddy took them to the fair. She said she got lost. When I asked her what she did, she replied,
"I walked back and forth and whimpered a little bit."’

I totally felt Phoebe's pain. Any time I ever get lost be it at a fair or a department store or a huge parking lot or even driving in my car I do the same thing. Especially the whimpering.

What are you loving or hating at the moment?

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Guilty Pleasure

I am currently indulging in one of my favorite guilty pleasures.
The romance novel.
That's right. I admit it.  I read romance novels.
I have dedicated the month of August to rereading some of my favorite romance authors.  Jude Deveraux, Kathleen E. Woodiwiss, Jayne Ann Krentz, Julie Garwood, etc. 
Nothing that is a strain on the brain.
While the rest of you read your fancy, mind-improving, New York Times bestsellers, it will be nothing but heaving bosoms and thrusting loins for me!

Friday, August 15, 2008


When we went out for our anniversary dinner, we went to TGIF. We went there because we had a $50.00 gift certificate. Of all the similar chain restaurants, TGIF is my least favorite. I like Ruby Tuesdays. Especially the mini-hamburgers.

TGIF has, for lack of a better word, crap all over the walls. It looks like a garage sale. One of the things that was pasted up on the wall near our booth was the game Operation. Remember that game? You had to use a tweezers to pick out the pieces and not hit the sides or the game will emit a buzzing sound and the nose will flash red and you will have lost your turn.

Tom and I were reminisincing about the game. I noted that there was a new addition to the ailments, brain freeze. I didn't remember that from my childhood game. Tom told me that he used to play Operation with his sister and cheat. Cheating at board games is a tradition for the Bergmans.

But it got me thinking about board games.....I have to say that Candyland is probably my all time favorite board game. Followed by a rousing game of Parcheesi or Trivial Pursuit.

What do you play?