Last week I got the following email from Sanna (for any new readers, Sanna is one of my best good friends since grade school days):
This was the email in its entirety:
i'm considering proposing to Dave.
what do you think
She sent this email to both me and her sister Johanna.
Dave is Sanna's boyfriend .
Here is some background on Dave and their relationship:
1) They met April 14 2007 on a camping trip set up by a mutual friend
2) Their first date was May 18 2007, she went to his house - he had tickets to see a concert but then lingered over dinner and opted to go to his house and have a firepit in his yard and drink wine
3) They are both 36
4) He was married for 4 years, no children, he's been divorced for 7 years
5) She has had several serious relationships
6) She lives in PA - he lives in VA
7) She makes more than he does
8) He is in interviews about a job in PA near hers
9) Which means they are talking about his moving in with her
10)He is well liked by her family and friends
When I read the email my first thought was to say "DON'T DO IT....WAIT FOR HIM TO ASK YOU"
And then my second thought was..... "don't offer your friend relationship advice....remember the whole Colin debacle?".
The Colin debacle was quite simply Susanna asking me for advice and I foolishly advising.
I am a pragmatic.
I think Sanna should wait and let it evolve naturally.
Johanna on the other hand, was all for it.
Her suggestion went something like this:
it seems like you are itchy to give him a special gift to show him how special he is to you, so, why don't you just buy him a ring and keep it on your person whenever you guys are together
and then when/if he proposes to you with a ring, you can have your beautiful moment and then say, 'wait, i have something for you too'.that way you both have a special token and you get to experience areal proposal from the boy who loves you so much and vice versa.
But she is a romantic.
There are two TV instances that stand out in my mind as reasons for the woman not to propose:
1) Gilmore Girls - Lorelai proposed to Luke and he accepted. He later flung that back in her face
2) Sex and the City - Charlotte inadvertently proposed to herself. She later got a huge Tiffany ring but still, it was a foreboding.
Have any of you ever proposed?
Would you propose?
How would you advise Sanna?