Thursday, May 29, 2008

That's HEDLEY!!

This post is in honor of Harvey Korman who died today:

'tis the season of critters and creepy, crawly things

Critters:  Before I let allow the cats to come in, first I do a visual inspection followed by a patting down to make sure they aren't trying to smuggle live or dead chipmunks across the doorstep.
Critters:  There is a ground hog that trundles back and forth across our back yard. Tom stares longingly out the back door, wishing he could take a shot at him. But since I am adamant that he not have a gun, he can only holler "GROUNDHOG" out the door in a vain attempt to scare Mr. Groundhog away. 
Creepy crawly things: 
Tuesday evening, following a day of unseasonably hot and humid weather, we had a particularly heavy thunder storm. After the storm, the cats wanted to go out. I decided to leave the kitchen door open so that they could come and go at their leisure.  When I went back into the kitchen to start dinner, I was stopped dead in my tracks, for there on the floor,to my great consternation and utter revulsion, was 4 inches of plump, wriggling ugliness. Because of the plumpness of the creature I was fairly confident that it was not a snake. But I needed to be sure.  
"Right then" I said. Girding up my loins, I poked at it with a hesitant finger. It immediately contorted into a protective C-shape thus confirming my suspicions that it was  not a snake. But it still needed to be identified and disposed of!
Tom was in the living watching the ball game. I squawked and begged and pleaded for him to come and look at this thing before it crawled away. But to no avail. He wouldn't move from his prone position on the couch to see what all the commotion was about.
"Fine" I huffed. "If Mohammed won't come to the mountain......." 
For those of you who know of my legendary battles with creepy crawly things, you can guess what I did next.
That's right!
I reached for my trusty kitchen tongs, snatched up the thing and being careful not to squeeze too hard carried the it into the living room.
"WHAT IS THIS?" I screeched, thrusting creepy crawly laden tongs into Tom's face .
After giving it a cursory glance he said, with great disinterest and more than a hint of irritation in his voice, "It's a centipede, Jen". Having answered my burning question, he turned dismissively back to the Mets game and left me with standing there foolishly holding a centipede in a pair of kitchen tongs. 
Since it was only a centipede, I charitably decided that it could live another day, flung it into the yard, washed the tongs and started dinner.
I thought I handled that well, all things considered.  
Jen Vanquisher of All Things Creepy Crawly signing off

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

catching up

This morning I woke up with a sense of foreboding. 
It could have been because I was going back to work after a lovely three day weekend OR it could have been the Big Mac that I ate at 9pm, followed by the large DQ root beer float.
I saw Indiana Jones on Thursday.  Honestly?  I could have waited for it to come out on pay-per-view.
In other news, last week I was suffering.  Not the lack of internet access both at work and at home while I was waiting for my laptop to be repaired kind of suffering.  But physical suffering.  For all last week I was living with a pimple up in my left nostril.
It was painful to the touch on the outside and was causing my nose to swell most unbecomingly and precluding me from flaring my nostrils, as I am a master nostril flarer. 
The swelling has since subsided but the memory still lingers.  
Yesterday I spent the day cutting out the UPC code from 100 empty bags of mulch. These bags were scrunched up, wet and in some cases, moldy.  But my husband informed me that we would get a 40¢ rebate for each one.  If you are doing your math that is $40.00.  Which will just about buy me a tank of gas.
During the holiday, I finished two books. A John Sandford "Prey" novel and Sushi for Beginners by Marian Keyes.  I also watched the movie Juno.  I recommend it.  And you know....Jason Bateman...quite yummy. 
Sunday morning my other best good friend Ginger, called me at 9am.  We talked and talked until well after 12pm.  It is a good thing my husband had already gone out for the day, because I fear he wouldn't understand how I could talk for three hours straight.  The sad part?  In the three hours that we talked, I could have jumped in my car and driven all the way out to PA to visit with her face to face.   
Halfway through our marathon chat-fest I had to pee and this is how good a friend Ginger is.....she continued to talk with me even as I did my business and flushed.  I  gave her warning first though.
Hey listen we've all done it.  That is the beauty of a cordless phone!!
And finally, I want to say that for those of you who have blogs I did read all of your blogs over the weekend  But there is no way I could comment on all of them.  Just know that I was reading and enjoying.  And now that the laptop has returned, I'm back in the saddle again and will comment like crazy (but only in the evenings!), because I know that life just isn't the same without a comment from Jen!!!!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008


i'm back. 
bigger and better than ever.
actually, since i've been sticking to my carrots and celery and minimal sweets i'm not bigger.
not necessarily smaller either, but rather  maintaining. and i can assure you, in case you were wondering, you certainly won't see me in a bathing suit anytime soon.  the entire eastern seaboard can breathe a huge sigh of relief.
since i can't surf the web while at work anymore (bitter?  i think so!!) can someone please tell me the nutritional value of raw celery? 

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

the winner is.....

The small personage I saw in the lobby was indeed Dr. Ruth.
Dressed casually, she came breezing into the lobby, plopped herself down on a chair to wait for the person she was going to meet.
She sat on the edge of her chair and watched everything and everyone with great interest, like a little bird. We made eye contact and smiled briefly and continued with our individual perusings of the room.  
When the gentleman for whom she was waiting finally arrived, she rose and greeted him with a hug and a kiss and exchanged a few words in German. Then she gathered up her things and they were off.
This was just as satisfying as the time I saw The Fonz on the street and leaned out of the car window to holler "I love you".  He graciously blew a kiss.  I remember wondering at the time what it must be like to be a star and be walking down the street deep in your own thoughts and have a fan scream undying love from a passing car. 
What famous person(s) have you seen?  

Thursday, May 08, 2008

thanks so much

Thank you all for admitting that this has happened to you as well.
You should know that the email was from the BOSS.  The owner of the company.
He says that I can use the internet on my own time. As if I really want to come in early to surf the web!!!
Tomorrow I will tell you all about my trip into NYC and the important personage I made eye contact with in the lobby of The Yale Club of NYC.
I'll give you three hints:
1) It was a she
2) She was small. You know....S M ALL
3) She had an accent
A prize to the person who guesses correctly.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

I am SO busted

I was greeted with this email when I came into work this morning:
Internet use during business hours is for COMPANY use only. 
You are free to use the internet after hours for personal use.
This is the last time I want to discuss this with you. If you have any questions, please let me know. 


So until I get my laptop back, I am seriously limited in my email/blogging.  Don't do anything too interesting while I'm gone.



Monday, May 05, 2008

Wasted Weekend

Because of my computer black-out I watched TV and movies over the weekend.

The movies:

No Country For Old Men and Michael Clayton

I'm sure that I'm in the minority here, but I thought that while Javier Bardem's performance was good, it wasn't exactly Oscar-worthy.

His haircut on the other hand.......

The same can be said for Tilda Swinton in Michael Clayton. I might have found a new girl crush.
I need to see her in other movies though. Any suggestions?
I am not very fond of British actors trying to do American accents so I can only imagine that it must pain the ears of the British population to hear American actors doing British accents. I did like Tom Wilkinson. The first time I saw him was in a movie with Minnie Driver called "The Governess". He was long and lean and elegant and naked. Watch it, you just might like it.

TV: Housewives of NYC. I saw the final episode and the reunion show. I can't believe I wasted my time watching this show, much less IM'ing Sanna for 10 minutes about it today.
Anybody else watching this show? Or how about "Keeping up with the Kardashians" . I can't stop watching that show either. And all keep thinking when I see Bruce Jenner is "FACE LIFT"

I also started reading two books: Out of Africa - by Isak Dinesen and then when I can't stand any more of the wordiness I move on to The Little Lady Agency - by Hester Browne. This book is major chick-lit but it is British chick lit so I'm reading it with a British accent and therefore counts as culture.

In the food and beverage department I polished off the rest of a can of cashews, ate many Milky Way miniatures - hey, it takes a LOT of miniatures to make one big candy bar so in reality I ate only one whole Milky Way, had three slices of left over ham and onion pizza washed down with a rapidly going flat Coke and one carrot. Just to keep it healthy.

What did you do this weekend?

Friday, May 02, 2008

Friday round-up

My laptop gave up the ghost Wednesday night.

It had been acting wonky for a couple of days so this wasn’t a complete surprise.

Right now it's in the shop to see if it can be resuscitated.

In the meantime, I’m reduced to checking emails and blogging on the sly at work.

I was going to show you pictures of the lovely birthday gifts I received from Melody (which put my birthday celebration over the top!!) but the computer crapping out put the kibosh on that.

Instead I'll just describe as best I can what she sent:

She sent me cupcakes.

Cupcakes that she made with her own two little hands and packed up very carefully and mailed to me.

Red velvet cupcakes with a vanilla bean icing. They were delicious. The icing especially.


She sent me an apron with the “calling dr. bombay” logo printed on it. In orange. If and when I get my laptop back I’ll definitely post a picture.

If I had the computer savvy and know-how, I would take this logo and use it as the header on my blog.

And finally, today I wore a shirt that I haven't worn since last summer and I'm happy to report that it did NOT hug my fat rolls like it had in the past. Munching on those carrots is helping. Next week I'll add celery.