Sunday, February 28, 2010

the end

I've been tied to this NaBloPoMo during this, the shortest month of the year and I am so tired of thinking up new ideas.

Next month the topic is "strange(ers).

You'll be delighted to know that I most certainly am not committing myself to the challenge.

Jen out.

Saturday, February 27, 2010


Have you ever tried pulling a loose tooth by tying a string to the tooth and to a door knob and then shut the door?

I think I may have tried that when I was young and stupid.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Classic Tie Knots #4 - Prince Albert

Shorter men often have to fight with silk neck ties that are too long. No matter what they do, the ends always dangle way too far over the buckle belt. For them it helps to wind around the broad end several times. This method of course has a name - it is called Albert. Someone who prefers a big, but longish knot, - as the Italians do – should know how to tie the Prince Albert necktie knot. The procedure is almost identical with the one of the Four-in-hand knot.

Thursday, February 25, 2010


When I was a little girl, my mother oftern made my clothes. She would make dresses with ties in the back and if I wasn't paying attention when I would go to the bathroom, the ties would fall into the toilet and get wet.

There is nothing worse than walking around with a wet tie slapping your bare leg.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

apron strings

Although my husband has given me a lot to complain about over the years, I can say that being tied to his mother's apron string was never an issue.

After he graduated high school he left home to go into the Marines and he really never went back.

His mother married an unpleasant man and Tom never got along with him so it was easy to stay away.

She did have a hold on him, but it was really one of obligation and guilt more than anything else.

She could wish with all her might, but Tom would never be a Mama's boy.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

CLassic Tie Knots #3 - Bow Tie

The origin of the bow tie dates to the 17th century when Croatian mercenaries fought in support of Louis XIII against Cardinal Richelieu. As the Croats walked the streets of Paris, their brightly colored scarves caught the attention of the Court. The upper class began wearing creatively tied versions of the scarves around their necks and the bow tie was born.

Monday, February 22, 2010


This memory is compliments of my Mother

When we moved into our new house, the front of the house was landscaped using railroad ties as borders for the shrubbery. Shortly after we moved in, Mum planted tulips out front and one spring something ate the buds off the tulip stalks before they ever had a chance to bloom? She thought there might be a little varmint of some kind that was biting them off so Dad decided to flip over a railroad tie and there was a little cache of the missing tulip buds! They were not sure what did that but suspected it was a mole. They speculated that it could have been a chipmunk but they had never seen one around.

It will always be an unsolved mystery.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Classic Tie Knots #2 - Four-in-hand

Also known as a simple knot, the four-in-hand is believed to be the most popular method of tying ties due to its simplicity. The knot dates back to England in the days of the coach-and-four where the men driving the coach knotted their ties in this manner to help prevent them from flapping in the wind. The knot produced by this method is on the narrow side, slightly asymmetric, and appropriate for all occasions. It works best with wide ties made from heavy fabrics and should be worn with a tab, button-down or regular spread collar. It's a classic knot for any occasion and is most widely used.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

a little information

Because I'm running out of interesting things to say about the word "tie", I'm cutting and pasting the following information. I can't wait until this month is over. I don't know what possessed me to do a whole month about "ties"

Tie clips serve a very important function along with being decorative. Men’s ties are intended to cover the button of the dress shirt and also provide a line of contrast and interest. Many fashion experts often suggest that a properly selected tie conveys the personality of the wearer. Unfortunately, even the most expensive silk tie cannot compete with wind and gravity and can easily blow out of place with a quick gust of air and unsecured tie can also find its way into a paper shredder or other machine. A tie clip places approx two thirds of the way down the front of a neck tie and keep it secured through most situations.

Now you know!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

tying shoes

My Dad taught me how to tie my shoes. I practiced over and over again until I got it just right.

Then when I was in sixth grade I got a pair of sneakers with velcro. They were gray and pink. I loved them dearly.

Now of course I wouldn't be caught dead with velco sneakers.

But I wear sneakers every day. Because of the MS I can't really feel my feet and sneakers are pretty much the only shoes that don't fall off my feet.

Who taught you to tie your shoes?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Classic Tie Knots #1 - Windsor

Falsely named after the Duke of Windsor, the Windsor knot (also known as the full Windsor or double Windsor) is a wide triangular knot that is usually worn for formal occasions. This type of knot looks best worn with a shirt collar that is considerably cut-away.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

drunk as a skunk

To tie one on - intentionally get drunk.

I can honestly say....I've tied one on. On more that one occasion. That's what you do in college.

Only I don't think I've ever deliberately used that phrase. But I have definitely tied one on. Tequila.

It'll do it to you every time.

Monday, February 15, 2010

a joke

Q. What did the necktie say to the hat?

A. You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.

Sunday, February 14, 2010


We've been watching the Olympics tonight and I very nearly forgot my post for today.

Perhaps I should have tied a string around my finger?

Friday, February 12, 2010

bungie tie

My father is a world-class bungie-tie spotter.

He can see a rogue bungie-tie on the road from a speeding vehicle. I can't count the number of times, while we were growing up, that he would suddenly pull over to snag one.

I'm not exactly sure what he does with them.

It might be part of my inheritance.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Hair tie

Today I would have given my kingdom for a hair tie, ribbon, rubber band, barrette, bobby pin, ANYTHING to get my hair up off my face.

I'm growing my hair out and the bangs are just too MUCH!!

In another month or so it should be long enough to tuck behind my ear, but right now I have to suffer with it flopping in my eyes.

I feel like an English sheep dog.


Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Tie game

FYI - With the exception of the play-offs and the Super Bowl, NFL games can and do end in a tie.

They say a tie game is like kissing your sister.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Tongue tied

Sometimes I get so tongue-tied when I'm trying to explain something to my boss that everything comes out bass ackwards and I'm sure he walks away wondering why he's paying me the big bucks.

Today was no exception.

If he would just give me the chance to explain without jumping to conclusions we might have a smoother time of it.

Just once I would like to hold up my hand and say very firmly, "Let me finish my sentence, if you please!"

Monday, February 08, 2010

tying the knot

Breaking news……this just in….

You all know my best good friend Sanna, right?

Her boyfriend of 3 years popped the question yesterday and it is official. They are engaged to be wed.

They are thinking an October wedding.

We are pleased.

Now starts the wedding planning.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Blest Be The Tie That Binds

Because it is Sunday....

Blest be the tie that binds
Our hearts in Christian love;
The fellowship of kindred minds
Is like to that above.

Before our Father’s throne
We pour our ardent prayers;
Our fears, our hopes, our aims are one
Our comforts and our cares.

We share each other’s woes,
Our mutual burdens bear;
And often for each other flows
The sympathizing tear.

When we asunder part,
It gives us inward pain;
But we shall still be joined in heart,
And hope to meet again.

This glorious hope revives
Our courage by the way;
While each in expectation lives,
And longs to see the day.

From sorrow, toil and pain,
And sin, we shall be free,
And perfect love and friendship reign
Through all eternity.


Saturday, February 06, 2010

Clip on

When I think of ties, I always think of my paternal grandfather, Pa-pa. He was an Evangelicial minister who was very dignified and proper.

He always wore a jacket and tie. A clip-on tie, but a tie nonetheless.

He also liked to liberally douse himself in aftershave. He particularly liked Carrington.

Pa-pa was a vigorous, voracious hugger and the scent of the aftershave would cling to my clothes long after he and Grandma departed.

Friday, February 05, 2010

tie dye

I'm a girl who likes her tie dye.

I have several shirts, mostly Grateful Dead that are tie dyed.

When I was picking out the tuxes for our wedding, I so very bady wanted to have tie-dyed bow ties and cummerbands. But the wedding planner talked me out of it. I went with plain boring black instead.

I tried tie-dyeing one time and failed miserably. The colors were a mish-mash and faded too quickly.

There is a definite art tie-dying.

Now I leave it up to the professionals like my friend Mike The Hippie.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Colombian necktie

My co-worker...the treacherous, can't be trusted one. She is Colombian.

Over the years I have learned it is best not to cross her. She is always right and let us just say that we could never have a reasonable discussion wherein I might happen to point out that she is wrong, wrong, wrong. The conversation would quickly escalate to a yelling (on her part) match.

I live in fear and dread that one day I might wake up with a Colombian necktie.

A Colombian necktie is a method of execution where the victim's throat is slashed (with a knife or other sharp object) and their tongue is pulled out through the open wound. It was a frequent method of killing during the Colombian history period called La Violencia that started in 1948 after the leader Jorge Eliecer Gaitan was murdered.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

knotty problem

in college, i was a theatre arts major. in one of my stagecraft classes i spent a whole month learning how to tie knots.

knots are huge in the theatre. what with all the rigging and ropes and everything. we learned that long ago, sailors were often stagehands. and sailors certainly know how to tie knots!!

i carried a length of rope with me wherever i went to practice my knots. i passed the knot tying test. but i couldn't tie a knot now if my life depended on it.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

belt it

Fred Astaire often used a neck-tie as a belt.

I read somewhere that he got the idea from Errol Flynn who, by the way, apparently was able to play "You Are My Sunshine" on the piano.

With his penis.

No need to thank me for that little tid-bit.

Monday, February 01, 2010


Sometimes NaBloPoMo comes up with a good theme to blog about. This month it is "ties".

It could be about "the ties that bind". Or it could be about the men's accessory.

Today I'm going to talk about the twist-tie on a loaf of bread.

We have an ongoing battle in our house about this little piece of paper-cover wire or the plastic clip, depending on your loaf of bread.

I take it off and throw it away and then just twist the bag closed.

Tom puts is back on. Twisting the wire ever so neatly and tightly.

I'm sure there is a metaphor of our marriage in there somewhere.

What do you do with the tie?