Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Things you can’t believe you’ve just wasted your time reading:

1) Last year, to initiate my New Years resolution of “economy, economy, economy”, I purchased a big box of store brand Q-tips. *side note: If they are store brand then they aren’t “Q-Tips”. What are they called? Anyhoo, these Q-tips sucked. They didn’t have as much cotton on the tip and they bent easily. There is nothing worse than having the Q-tip bend at a crucial point in the ear wax removal process.

I would like to report that these fake Q-tips have been used up; however that is not the case. There is still a quarter of the box left. I CANNOT believe that two reasonably hygienic people can’t use up 500 Q-tips in a year. This would also account for some of the reason why my husband can’t hear me when I talk to him.

2) The toilet seat is cracked and nooooooo it wasn’t because I sat on it! Turns out Himself ate too much salsa cheese dip and had to make a very hurried trip to the bathroom and I don’t know if it was the force with which he sat down or the explosive nature of his mission but the toilet seat was cracked in the process. And now every time I sit down, the seat pinches my heiney.

3) While we are in the bathroom and talking about my heiney…. Am I the only person who has to fish hair from out of my butt crack when I’ve finished washing my hair? Please tell me that it is because I need a haircut and not that I am exhibiting early signs of hair loss. Please don’t tell me it’s because my ass is so big that it truly is eating up everything in its path and finally, please oh please tell me there are other women out there that are afflicted with this problem.

4) Comedy Central is airing reruns of Scrubs. I try to catch an episode whenever I can and I can honestly say there is not an episode where I haven't laughed out loud at least once. It is a sly, wittily written show that is fresh and hits my funny bone just right.

5) Regarding the trainwreck of a blog that I flamed….I can’t give you the address. I’m too ashamed of my unchristian-like behavior, plus I think you all are better off not reading it. But if you want to read the post on which I commented I’ll email it to you. I wish I could remember what exactly I said in my hateful comment, but then too you are probably better off not reading that either. I don’t want you to judge me!!

6) I’ve been listening to Alison Krauss and Union Station all week. I loves me some good mandolin and dobro playing

7) EdgyKay is back!! Woo Hoo! I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed a person I’ve never met.


kay said...

Oh, for the love. *I'M* the loser who writes 5,000 words about my own middle name, and you think YOU waste people's time?!?

And I knew there was another reason that I "clicked" with you:

We have an hour of silence every weeknight while back-to-back "Scrubs" is on. Sons 3, 4 and I bond over it. Well, that and "Family Guy."

Um, I've never plucked hair from my butt crack. I DO, however, wish that the stray hairs that have been sprouting, willy-nilly, along my jawline, would start dropping out.

And regarding the cotton sticks? Apparently, the M.O. around here is to NOT use them for about four days' worth of bathing; that way, it requires TWICE as many of the sticks to free-up the Wax Canal.

You might want to try that method.

Probably not.

Glad I could turn yet ANOTHER post into a Kayologue...

kay said...

Oh, and YES! Send me the post that you flamed. Then I'll add more stuff that you SHOULD have said, and send it back.

Aren't I nice?

kilowatthour said...

i used to have this hair + buttcrack problem of which you speak. i think it must have ceased when i cut my hair shorter. maybe? i'm not sure.

scrubs = delightful.

that is all.

Anonymous said...

oh yes i have had this hair- butt crack problem too! thank you for having the humility to mention this because i was starting to think I was the only one.

Jen said...

The hair in the arse complaint just made me laugh outloud! Thanks for that!

Flamed someone, huh? That's okay, it seems once many bloggers get popular and start making money off their sites they become constant whine-bags. I love how all the other readers try to make them feel validated and okay, good Lord, if they don't want people disagreeing with them then they shouldn't write a public blog.

NJaney said...

Lady - you are KILLING me with #3. I too have to fish out the hair...but it's nothing to do with the size of our Baby-Got-Backs...it's the way the water flows down. At least that's what I tell myself.

Please email me the flaming blog (I just sent you an email you sweet and thoughtful person) so I can check it out. I promise to never mention it in blogland.



bethydiane said...

Yes, I've read the Other Boleyn Girl. It was my first and favorite of Gregory's. Her stories are a little forumlaic after one. There is actually a movie being made and Scarlet Johanson is supposed to be in it, so I'm assuming she will be Mary.

My "Must Read" list is all books that I've read one, two, three, a hundred times and I recommend that you must read. I COULD start a new list of books I want to read but haven't yet... I think I'll do that now...

BH said...

Hey Jen! Hope you're doing well. It's been a while since I've been over here. I admit it, I've been a bad blogwalker.

Take care!