Wednesday, January 09, 2008

the britney, she is everywhere

On Monday night, we went over to Tom’s grandparents to help celebrate Grandpa Bergman’s 88th birthday.

Dinner was a traditional spaghetti supper, followed by the obligatory ice cream cake.

Let me explain about the ice cream cake…..the beauty of an ice cream cake is that it combines ice cream and cake in one which pleases grandma as she is nothing if not an efficient woman. She generally purchases an ice cream cake from the local ice cream shop. It is usually chocolate with that dreadful frozen whipped cream frosting with neon red, yellow and blue icing decorations. This is the first of several ice cream cakes that will be served at Bergman functions this year.

I am not a fan of ice cream cake. I prefer a nice chunk of moist, homemade chocolate cake that is cheek- by -jowl with a slowly melting scoop of vanilla ice cream.

After dinner, while we waited for Aunt Jane and Gma to tidy up, the rest of us retired to the living room in anticipation of the gift opening.

Grandpa had control of the remote and in the customary Bergman fashion, was idly flipping through the channels looking for either a classic John Wayne western or a sports program.

Inexplicably, Grandpa stopped on “Inside Edition” where, naturally, the news was all about Britney.

This sparked a level of interest I have only witnessed heretofore (at least in this living room) for Yankee games.

The conversation soon devolved into a round robin on Britney’s hair and how it could have grown so long, so quickly since she shaved her head. You know, really important questions. At this point, the Bergman men were given a very brief tutorial on the world of hair extensions.

Shortly thereafter Gma came in and the TV was turned off. Which was good, because I was truly anticipating Gma to start talking about how Britney was caught on camera with her hoo-ha showing. And I imagined further how this observation would inevitably lead to the question hotly debated at so many 88th birthday celebrations.

Does Brit-Brit shave or wax for her bare down there look?


Misty said...

I don't know about 88th birthdays, but my Christmas party had that as an ongoing dispute...

tiny tin bird said...

I started to write this comment about 20 minutes ago. I went to check a fact on, well, it's not important where.

Somehow, I got into the bio and the photos and the bad year... Which dog is that? And then there's the pink wig again. This new guy Lufti seems like trouble.

I mean, so obviously, only total losers get caught up in this crazy public unraveling of one of America's hugest pop stars.

Anonymous said...

Happy 88th to your grandpa. That's quite an accomplishment!

As for Britney, there is something to be said about all those hugely successful people who sadly lose their marbles: Elizabeth Taylor, Michael Jackson, Marilyn Monroe, etc. I had always thought they signed a deal with the devil and now he's asking for payment sooner rather than later. But my grown up practical side says it's Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. They've reached the top and now they're screwed because there's nothing else to work torward.

Knitting Kris said...

Aha, Jen's back! I love the infamous relative birthday celebrations! I can't wait to be 88 years old, so that I can finally say what I want, and no one will chalk it up to insanity, but rather, "Oh, she's 88, let her just speak her mind." And if I have diabetes then, they better give me the cake, ice-cream or not!

smtwngrl said...

Three comments before I start work:

1. You clearly come by your addiction to celebrity gossip naturally.

2. Ice cream cake, I can give or take. Cake and ice cream, Wahoo!

3. I never really liked Britney, but now, I'm really sad for her. I truly believe she's headed down a depression/bipolar spiral that she may never recover from if someone doesn't intervene soon. Sad, sad, sad.

and 4. (I know I said three, but four is better) I'm so glad you're back!

glove said...


Seriously, though, there's actually an article about the Britney fascination on the BBC news website. News about reacting to news. Is that meta-news?

- Gillian

Dana said...

Mmm, cake and ice cream, definitely separate, but together.

Ah Brit. Well, since I've not seen any pictures of the eh hem in question I cannot qualify to judge.

But I'm just gonna go with wax cause she's just that crazy.

Jess said...

You finished the Sedaris book, what do you think??...
I have no comment on Brit... i'm too busy keeping up with Brangelina..

3 Parrots Island said...

Britney shaved her head? Hadn't heard...

I hope I live to 88, and I hope someone gives me control of the GD clicker when I get there.

I also hope you're healing up...ready for the big games? Cake I can take or leave...but big football games? YEAH BABY!

Anonymous said...

Awww, I loves ice cream cake. I'm always the one making homemade cakes tho.

Poor Brit. On one hand, I feel sorry for her, on the other hand I just want to smack her!

Anonymous said...

I guess I'm anonymous again, which you know I hate. I'm just that obnoxious -- look at me! Everybody look at ME!

Have you read any other Sedaris books? ("Dress Your Children in Cordurouy and Denim" (?) and also, Amy Sedaris, David's sister, is quite hilarious.)

Also, you have, like, eight books to go until you're finished with the Evanovich books. They're pretty fun and quick.

How're you getting along? Is the pain under control? You should always, always, always take several painkillers (oh, God, I initially typed "laxatives"! That would be dreadful!!) before you attend your therapy sessions. It makes the abuse much more tolerable. (The laxatives, however, would add a whole NEW dimension...)

I remain hopeful that the uglier effects of MS remains at bay -- can you use the cane to beat them away? (and I initially typed "beat them off" there, which was inappropriate, so I changed it. Only to now add it again.)

I've done enough damage here for one day.

Loved the post. Grammas and grampas rock. Mine are all dead, but I have plenty of surrogates at church. They tolerate me.

And a deep, dark secret about me? I have bought ice cream cakes, peeled off the top layer, and just eaten the crumb (cake?) middle and the bottom layer.

You should be a priest. I, apparently, will confess ANYTHING to you.

Take care.


Jennifer (Jen on the Edge) said...

I refuse to give any thought to Brit Brit's hoo-ha.


I too prefer real cake with ice cream on the side.

Betsy said...

Ah, BS. Crazy as a rabid mongoose, that one. I really don't know if anyone can top that trainwreck.

Paris and crew seem awfully tame and sedate compared to Brit-Brit.

Perhaps they will see that as a challenge.

Here's to new and exciting Hollywood disasters in '08!