Wednesday, June 06, 2007

i want to tell you....

I want to tell you in great depth and boring detail about how the well pump died and we were out of water last week.

I want to tell you how I broke the latch on the trunk of my car and have been driving around with the trunk bungie- corded and how the lid flaps in the breeze like a pair of long johns on the clothes line.

I want to tell you how I went to my father-in-laws house late Thursday evening after work to take a shower and how I fell as I was getting out of the shower and landed with a huge THUMP on the ceramic tile floor and hurt my right buttock. And how I sat on the floor of the bathroom in a big pink, naked lump and cried great tears of sorrow for myself.

I want to tell you how the well pump people came the next day and in the matter of an hour installed a new well pump. And then I want to tell you how I discovered that the toilet is not filling up fast enough and that we need to fill up buckets of water to flush the toilet.

I want to tell you that we are going to have to install a water filter.

I want to tell you how for months my husband and I have been circling warily around a subject that must be discussed with rationality and maturity. And how in my head I have my bottom line which is “if you value me and our marriage you’ll let this matter die”

I WANT to tell you all these things.

I find that I MUST tell you these things instead.....

this morning I clipped my fingernails and now I am able to type much faster and with greater accuracy.

last night I ate a soft pretzel and it was good

Monday night we watched “night at the museum”. it could have been better

susanna and I cancelled our yard sale. I still have 5 pastel colored feather trees for sale

right now, dinner is simmering away in the crock pot. chicken legs in an onion herb
sauce which I will serve over rice

my sister’s birthday was a month ago and her gift is still sitting waiting to be packed up and sent out.

ditto for the mother’s day gift for mum

and finally, tonight I’m watching the Top Chef Season 1 vs Season 2 Grudge match. That’s right….I watch Top Chef and Project Runway AND Shear Genuis.

All right, all right, you’ve forceed it out of me, I also watch Celebrity Fit Club.

As a final admission….last weekend TV Land ran a Kate and Allie marathon.

I watched it.


smtwngrl said...

*Sigh* I wish I had cable...

Water pumps and the like! Argh! I hope your bottom is feeling better. If it helps, I fell down my dad's porch steps Labor Day weekend and still have pain in my tailbone region on a regular basis. The clutz gene runs in my family, so I've grown accustomed to these types of happenings.

kilowatthour said...

ahhh... doesn't that feel better? that was even cathartic for me.

Allknowingjen said...

I think I am the only one in the western hemisphere who missed that Kate & Allie marathon and I am so bummed! I loved that show! Is it on all the time now?

I hope all your water issues are over soon- home ownership is soooo rewarding.

Betsy said...

I love Project Runway. Who knew that bratty designers could be so entertaining?

PS- I am waiting with bated breath for the poo story.

east village idiot said...

I want to tell you that this post is utterly hilarious and I feel your pain.

mannyed said...

Kate and Allie! Damn, you need to start letting me know about these marathons in advance!

Sounds like you've been having moments lately.

Btw, should I be offended that I'm not on your "can't live without" list, lol.

Take Care!

Liz said...

I've never seen Fit Club but I confess to watching the other three.

Marcell, Marcell. When will he learn?

mandolyn said...

I want to tell you that I think Tastykake Peanut Butter Kandy Kakes are yet another party for my mouth, despite the intentional mispelling. Seriously, how is it that you have access to all the good stuff?

Liz said...

You are so right about Marcel's hair, but I think I prefer Heat Miser's personality.

(lobster foam wouldn't stand a chance inside a volcano)

Michael C said...

Hey Jen! Love this post! I want to tell you that you're getting funnier and more hysterical every time I read your posts! I also want to tell you that yours is the only one bookmarked in my favorites list anymore. Keep up the good work!!

Cousin Mike

Beth said...

I am a reality tv show junkie.

Runs House
Rob and Big
Kathy Griffen, My life on the D list
Celeberty Fit Club
Biggest Loser
Little People, Big World

I am a junkie I tell you.

It sucks all those things happened...but soft pretzels are yummy.

Malathionman said...

"rationality and maturity"

Isn't that how all husbands discuss things? Those are my two middle names!

Jen said...

Real World/Road Rules challenge. The best guilty pleasure ever!!!! And I watch all the Bravo shows as well,,, CANNOT WAIT for Project Runway to start!

Anonymous said...

Jen, at least it wasnt on your birthday, the hottest day of August, that your well pump did that, we pulled our own pump and your two cousins and myself pulled all 250 feet of water line out of our pump twice around the sand mound, we got a new pump. and put it all back in whew!!!! was that a chore! we had to go to your nana's and get showered, i hope never to relive that again. the horror of it all, too bad you fell, is your heini any better?

Cory said...

Holy Crap! I watched 4 hours of Kate and Allie. I would have watched more, but I had to leave the house.

How's your bum?

Dana said...

Stumbled onto your blog and have found a new favorite read! You are way too funny! I have thoroughly enjoyed the last hour or so of posts...