Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Do your balls hang low?

Do your balls hang low? Do they swing to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder like a Continental soldier?
Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hang low?

Remember a couple of months ago when I told you that Tom told me about a football player that had a staph infection that settled in his nether regions?


Well he did and gullible ol' Jen fell for the story hook, line and sinker.

Turns out Tom was just yanking my chain.

So the other day when he told me about his friend who is cursed with a set of low-hanging balls I greeted the story with a great deal of scepticism.

I'm thinking that if and when I ever meet this person I simply must insist on a visual inspection.


Anonymous said...

Jennifer... you are just too funny!
I hope he wears ORANGE Bikini's!
That is the only way your visual inspection will profit you any!!!

G Love said...

PErmit me to tell a really disgusting story? And this one is unfortunately true.

I was acting with a gentleman in a play one time. It was a farce - a lot of physical comedy - and he had to lean over a chair or something at one point. Anyway, one day he does this and I notice that his pants have split in the middle and his bollocks are swinging out of the split. They were contained in an old stretchy pair of briefs, but there was no mistaking what that was. I immediately averted my eyes and then washed my hands. I don't know why. I just felt the need to wash.

ojamam said...

I think that second line is "do they WOBBLE to and fro?" which seems like a ballsier adjective than 'swing' which is more for the OTHER nether.

PhantomMinuet said...

Heh. I haven't heard that little rhyme in year.

Jenster said...

Funny! I used to sing the clean version ("Do your EARS hang low") with my kids and I was always afraid I'd slip and sing "balls" instead. Of course, once they each reached kindergarten they learned the "balls" version from their friends.

Then when I'd sing the "ears" version, they'd say, "No, mom, it's BALLS."