Friday, September 07, 2007

"Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane"

This morning, as I was lying in bed bemoaning the fact that I had to get up soon, I was formulating a blog in my mind.

I was going to thank all you lovely internets for your suggestions for Robbie’s cat pee situation. And NO, NJaney, I don’t think she’s going to go for tossing the cat as the solution!

Then I was going to bitch a little bit about my sister-in-law. Not Jenny. (Stop by and say hello!) The other one. You remember her. The whole ashes in the cocktail sauce container thing? I won’t go into THAT again. But just know that she is aggravating me. I’ll save that for another day.

Then I was going to finish out my post with an explanation about krimpets and how much I love them and how you can learn to love them too.

But all of this fell by the wayside…..

Upon arising from my bed, I put on my glasses and grabbed my robe in preparation to going downstairs for my shower. As I rounded the foot of the bed, I spied what I thought was a piece of black string on the floor. When I bent down to pick up the piece of string it moved.

Correction.

It slithered..

That’s right, folks.

It was a SNAKE.

A SNAKE in my BEDROOM. A snake that slithered right under my dresser, presumably to take up permanent residence.

Where did it come from?

How did it get up the stairs?

Did the cats bring it in?

Now granted it was maybe 6” or so. But still.

It was a SNAKE.

I can’t live in this house anymore.

We are going to have to move.

12 comments:

mannyed said...

That is my worst nightmare! And it was invading the place where you sleep! *Shiver*

Allknowingjen said...

OMFG!
I am having heart palpations just thinking about it- *shudder*
Are you ok? Is it gone? Aren't cats supposed to be good for killing things like that ? Do you have slacker delinquent cats?

Kay said...

Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!

You definitely have to move.

east village idiot said...

Holy Fucking Shit!!!
Where the hell do you live?!!!
This news is totally unacceptable....

Set your house on fire!

3 Parrots Island said...

...um, as mentioned already in these comments...

*SHUDDER* (akjen) *SHIVER* (manneyed) *EW EW EW* (kay)

and

'HOLY FUCKING SHIT' (e.v. idiot)

pretty much cover anything I can say about a snake under the MF-ing dresser.

TeacherBee said...

Good Lord, I'd be scarred for life!

Dana said...

(LOL Snakes on a Plane)

Oh yeah, I would definitely move - after said snake(s) was found and killed and hung outside as an example to all the other slitherins who had the slightest notion that it might be a good idea to find some shade inside - because my luck would be that he got packed with our other things...

ew,ew,ew I am so creeped out... I have to pick up my feet...

I don't want to add to the fun you are surely experiencing, but where there are little ones, isn't there a mommy one around???? I'm just sayin'- keep your shotgun handy...

Cory said...

Someone will undoubtedly tell you that "it's just a harmless grass snake" as if any snakes are harmless. Ick.

Remember the time the raccoon got in? I love that story.

kay said...

Jesus. That's all.

You can live here.

Betsy said...

YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK!!!!!!!!! Your cats are far too domesticated if they didn't pick up on the fact that there was a foreign creature in their domain.

Jess said...

My sister's cat once brought a live snake into the house...
You could always move home...

Jen said...

Eeehhhhhh! I can't even look at a snake in a magazine, I literally turn the page quickly and don't touch the part with the snake on it! Move, move now.