going dark

I’ve got to go.

Just for a couple of days.

It’s nothing YOU'VE done or said, it’s me.

There are some things weighing heavily on my mind and until I can resolve them I’m going dark.
But I’ll be back, I promise (and will be checking emails all the while)

Until then, gaze in wonder and admiration upon the cuteness that is the Zach Attack.

guess what

Guess what??

G’head

Guess

Give up?

BIG news….

On Friday I went to the Dr. and he pronounced me “superb”. No really, he wrote it in the chart and everything. The result of being “superb”?? In two weeks I can go back to work!!! Woo-hoo. I miss work. So now I need to concentrate on negotiating the front steps. PLUS, I can start driving again. Which means that, because Tom has been driving my car these past weeks, I’ll have to adjust the seat, the mirrors and the radio station.

Guess what else?

This is not such big news (except for Tom who, if he plays his cards right, might just get lucky tonight) but…..I shaved my legs and trimmed my toenails today.

Oh, there’s one more thing….today is nephew Zach’s 3-months in the world mark. I got to meet Zach over Christmas. He was very well behaved. Didn’t spit up on me at all. You should have seen the nice gift haul the child made. Too bad he slept through the unwrapping.

The three months mark also means that Zach’s mother is gearing up to go back to work. We both had some nice time off, although hers was scheduled and mine was not.

the britney, she is everywhere

On Monday night, we went over to Tom’s grandparents to help celebrate Grandpa Bergman’s 88th birthday.

Dinner was a traditional spaghetti supper, followed by the obligatory ice cream cake.

Let me explain about the ice cream cake…..the beauty of an ice cream cake is that it combines ice cream and cake in one which pleases grandma as she is nothing if not an efficient woman. She generally purchases an ice cream cake from the local ice cream shop. It is usually chocolate with that dreadful frozen whipped cream frosting with neon red, yellow and blue icing decorations. This is the first of several ice cream cakes that will be served at Bergman functions this year.

I am not a fan of ice cream cake. I prefer a nice chunk of moist, homemade chocolate cake that is cheek- by -jowl with a slowly melting scoop of vanilla ice cream.

After dinner, while we waited for Aunt Jane and Gma to tidy up, the rest of us retired to the living room in anticipation of the gift opening.

Grandpa had control of the remote and in the customary Bergman fashion, was idly flipping through the channels looking for either a classic John Wayne western or a sports program.

Inexplicably, Grandpa stopped on “Inside Edition” where, naturally, the news was all about Britney.

This sparked a level of interest I have only witnessed heretofore (at least in this living room) for Yankee games.

The conversation soon devolved into a round robin on Britney’s hair and how it could have grown so long, so quickly since she shaved her head. You know, really important questions. At this point, the Bergman men were given a very brief tutorial on the world of hair extensions.

Shortly thereafter Gma came in and the TV was turned off. Which was good, because I was truly anticipating Gma to start talking about how Britney was caught on camera with her hoo-ha showing. And I imagined further how this observation would inevitably lead to the question hotly debated at so many 88th birthday celebrations.

Does Brit-Brit shave or wax for her bare down there look?

i resolve

I could take all day to reflect on things that happened in 2007 but it basically boils down to this: In addition to dealing with the MS (which obviously is here to stay), I endured my house being overrun with various varmints, both dead and alive, I survived several reptile/amphibian invasions, and I fell down and broke my leg. And that my friends, sums up the year that was.

Resolutions for the New Year:

I resolve to drink more water

I resolve to take my vitamins

I resolve to stop checking Perezhilton.com every hour

I resolve to read more books and watch less TV

I resolve to write more letters

I resolve to eat my vegetables

I resolve to wear earrings every day

I resolve to not fall down and break any more bones

I resolve to be more loving to my long-suffering husband

I resolve to cut my Oreo consumption by at least half

I resolve to not to be such a snarky, sarcastic bitch (which could be detrimental to the overall tone of my blog)

Now I’m off to see what the rest of the world has resolved.

Merry Christmas

It's Christmas Eve.



And how do we know it is Christmas Eve?



Because TBS is running "A Christmas Story" for 24 hours.

Mr. Parker: He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny.

Mother: He does not!

Mr. Parker: He does too, he looks like a pink nightmare!

Merry Christmas!!

boxes of love

It’s Friday and time for an update.

Last Friday I went back to the Dr. and he gave me the go-ahead to start putting weight on my leg. I’m walking on the leg now and let me just tell you….it is PAINFUL. It’s the most pain I’ve felt since I broke the leg. But every day it’s getting better. I’m still using the walker. Mostly for balance. I’m becoming resigned to the fact that there is a distinct possibility that the walker will figure more prominently in my life from now on.

The commercial that I don’t mind watching over and over again? Charlize Theron selling me J’Adore by Dior.

Also, I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I’ve been watching the FaLaLaLaLifetime Christmas movies. They are like Harlequin romances condensed into 2 hours.

There is nothing like receiving a box in the mail. Last week I received a record number of boxes. On Tuesday alone I got 4 boxes. I thought they were deliveries of Christmas gifts that I ordered online, but they were ALL for me.

1) Amazon.com – the movie Stardust from my friend Jess – who is seriously spoiling me!!

2) A Wolfermans gift box from one of my fellow co-workers – crumpets and scones and English muffins

3) A selection of Partylite candles from my friend Danita – who I’ve known since we were 4. Danita is my hero because not only does she have MS but she’s also a new mother. I don’t know how she does it all.

4) All the way from Kentucky I got two ornaments and a bag of circus peanuts from Melody. Melody has officially become one of my best good friends simply because of the circus peanuts!!

Melody says the girl looks like me and the ballet shoes are because I’m so “graceful” and the peanuts because my house must be a circus right now. It’s like she has known me for years!!

The next day I got a box from another blog friend Ami, who sent me a little gift bag of passion fruit shower gel, soap and lip gloss.

These boxes joined the box of wrapped Christmas gifts from Sanna.

But the box that wins the prize for inventiveness and color is from Aunt Benita. She sent me a box of orange. Please see below photo.

In this box I found an orange towel and washcloth, an orange scrubbie, an orange razor (Aunt Benita knows I'll need to shave my legs soon), orange pencil, pen and highlighter, orange cups with Santa on them, Tahitian vanilla and orchid body wash, orange fingernail polish (for my toes), Tang mix to go in the orange cups, and other small orange things that all fit nicely into a rubbermaid tote with an orange lid.

I think this officially makes Aunt Benita my favorite aunt of all time.

I thank all of you, dear friends and family. You make me feel truly blessed.

And now, before I get all mushy, here’s a Zach Attack.

The next Zach Attack photo will be taken personally by Aunt Jen. Zach and his family will be coming to NJ after Christmas and we are so looking forward to meeting him.

Bullet Friday

1) Because I'm housebound I don't have a whole lot of interesting news to report, other than I'm watching too much TV. I'm thoroughly sick of Christmas commericials, especially the Macy's commerical with Martha Stewart saying "Jessica.....darling" and a petulant Donald Trump.


2) I did find this new game and I've been playing for days. I know I should be doing it for all the poor, starving children in the world, but mostly I'm doing it because I'm trying to get to 50.



I'm at 45 right now. What's your score? I should warn you that it's all vocab words.
3) In other news, I'm doing Christmas cards. If you would like me to send you a card, email me your address at nejyerf@hotmail.com and I'll shoot one out to you. I've got nothing better to do.

4) I'm going to the Dr. today and hopefully he'll tell me that I can start putting weight on myleg. And then hopefully he'll take the cast thingy off and I can take a proper shower and shave my legs. I'm also thinking that once I'm more mobile I'm going to treat myself to a pedicure.

5) Here's the next installment of Zach Attack with Zachary showing some skin....his mother tells me that when she says "Hi" to him he mimics her. We agree that he is a gifted child.

dribs and drabs

I’ve been home for a week now and quite frankly, I’m getting tired of the invalid lifestyle.

I’m ready to get back out into the real world.

Two more thank you’s….one to Jess, (who is fast becoming my oreo dealer) and to sanna who sent me this……

She picked up this lovely orange tray when she was in Italy this summer. I'm blessed with good friends.

In other news, I spend a lot of time sitting at my kitchen table looking out the big bay window. Yesterday, a huge blue jay flew smack into the window. He looked rather dazed but gamely picked himself up and flew away.

You see....this is what I'm reduced to..... a sad little story about a blue jay. I've got nothing exciting going on in my life. Unless you count the fact that I finally had the time to watch the second season of "Remington Steele" on DVD. I don't mind admitting that I am a HUGE fan of the show. And yesterday, I watched the Law & Order: SVU marathon. I thought of my sister-in-law who is home on maternity leave and watches L&O religiously.

And that reminds me....it's time for a Zach Attack. This week there were so many pictures to choose from that I'm going to post two for your viewing pleasure.

the return

Hello my lovely internet beauties, I’m back!!!

Did you miss me?

I surely missed you!!

Today I went to the Dr and had the staples and sutures removed. I’m to go back in two weeks for more x-rays. He says I should be able to start putting weight on the leg at that time.

The past two weeks I’ve spent in rehab learning how to negotiate with a walker. I was also issued my own personal wheelchair while I was there and once I mastered the art of driving the wheelchair I went zipping up and down the halls.

I was probably the youngest patient there. Most of the other patients were elderly people who broke their hips.

Things I was unable to do whilst in rehab:

1) Get a good nights sleep. They were always wanting to take my blood, take my blood pressure or wanting me to take pills. They pushed the pain medication. I quit the oxycontin after a couple of days because I’m a Bergman and Bergman’s are tough and pain is our middle name. Can I get an “Amen” from Sister Jenny?

2) Poop. All the meds I was on gave me a good case of constipation. Again they wanted to give me meds to make things easier. The words milk of magnesia was bandied about. I chose to take the natural route and just waited it out. That’s all I’ve got to say about that.

3) Shower. I went a very long time without a shower. I did the best I could doing what Sanna and I call a “whore’s bath”. You know….. pits and crotch. But after a few days I began to smell pretty ripe. So when the nurse’s aide came in my room and asked if I would like to take a shower I jumped at the chance, even though she would have to help me. I’ll draw a veil over the ensuing shower action but just know that I felt like the elephant at the zoo that gets the hose turned on him at bathtime!!

4) Check Perezhilton.com for updates. The computers worked sporadically. And oddly enough, I was able to live without knowing the latest celebrity news. Could I be over Perezhilton.com????

5) Check in on all of you to see what’s been going on in your life. My newsgator feeder is weighed down with all of the blogs I need to read. But be assured that I will get around to visit. Thank god for the “Hymnal”!!

Big thanks go out to my best, good, friend Sanna, who so ably updated “Calling Dr. Bombay” while I was away. She was a good guest host. Maybe we can talk her into becoming a regular on the show??? A roving reporter perhaps?


More to come, but I’m an invalid now and I have to go and do what invalids do, which is to lay on the couch with the cats and watch reruns of “The Golden Girls”

It’s good to be back.

And lest I forget… it’s Friday and time for a Zach Attack.

Ground Control to Major Tom ...Turkey

Hi all, this is Sanna again.

Update East Coast:

Jen is in rehab ("no, no, no"). She's doing well and learning all she needs from the physical therapists in order to go home next Tuesday (yeah!).

Her mum and dad are visiting her tomorrow for Thanksgiving.

Himself hasn't brought the mail for a few days so Jen may be missing out on something fantastic.

There is some internet connectivity at the rehab, but it's so piddly and poor that she hasn't been able to update the blog. They even block Perez Hilton for pete's sake.

So here is what I have been given to tell you all. If names are misspelled that is entirely my (Sanna's) fault since Jen would never be so careless.

Special thanks go out to...
Cory! who sent Jen a 'Tim Gunn for President - Make it Work' Tshirt that Jen wears during her PT sessions....
Melanie (MK99)! who sent Jen a musical invite that she got a kick out of....
Sanna! who sent Jen beautiful orange roses, mums, lillies etc in an orange ceramic pumpkin. Jen says she'll keep the pumpkin. Sanna's still p'o'd because she asked the florist to mix in some candy bars with the flowers and they did not!

Jen's sister Jodi was to have visited her house this past weekend to clean things up and generally whip folks into shape. I'm sure she did! Hopefully Jodi did make it down and put Jen's winter clothes away because she was impossibly worried about them being spread all over the guest bed.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Taking a Little Break

Hi there, this is Sanna.

Update from Jen; Friday after work as she was going up the front steps at her house she lost her balance and fell down the steps backwards and went boom. Luckily she had her hair in a ponytail and it cushioned the blow to her head.

However, she broke her lower left leg in 3 places (the tibia, fibula and one other crushed bone she can't remember the name of). She went into surgery Friday night and got 7 lucky pins in her leg.

She is recuperating at the hospital for a few days and will post again when she is home and has access. At which time she will be accepting all consolations, cards, calls and gifts. Reminder; red and green Oreo's are due on the shelves anyday.

Jen wants you all to know; the phone in the ER was orange, lunch Saturday included orange jello (she ate it), the betadine stained her foot a lovely shade of orange, breakfast today included an orange....it never stops, see?

Look out, it's Zach!!!

It’s time for a Zach attack - this is actually a twofer.

Look at how much he’s grown. According to his mother, he eats every 90 minutes and is a very gassy baby. He gets this from his mother's side of the family!! Also note the pleasing shape of his wee head. The only helmet this kid will ever have to wear is a football helmet!!!

In this photo, he seems to be smiling. His mother informs us that this smile is due NOT to his gaseous nature but rather to the fact that he's a genuinely happy baby.

Now, since all Zach does is eat, sleep and poop, I don’t think he’ll mind sharing Zach Attack Friday with Shallow Thursday, because I forgot a very important shallow item:

This was an IM conversation between Sanna and me earlier in the week:

Sanna: you are now 4 degrees of separation from kevin bacon. Lori Singer just walked into Johi’s (Sanna’s sister) office

Jen: Who’s Lori Singer?

Sanna: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001742/

Jen: We’re that much closer to John Lithgow too!!!

Sanna: and Dianne Wiest!@!!!!!

Sanna: and SJP

Sanna: Add THAT to your shallow Thursday blog

And that my friends, means YOU are 5 degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon!

Not so shallow Thursday

I know today was supposed to be Shallow Thursday. On Shallow Thursday we are supposed to discuss the craziness that is the celebrity life. And how much better we are than Britney Spears and the nonsense that is Rosie O’Donnell and Pete Doherty shooting up and Amy Winehouse and why she paints such heavy eyeliner (she’s like a female Groucho Marx only with eyeliner instead of a painted on mustache and eyebrows) and Jennifer Lopez finally admitting she’s preggers, and that crazy- ass Heather Mills and Brett Favre. Why Brett? Why not I say!!!!

But, instead of discussing these topics in great length and depth, I did the following shallow things (because my boss was out of the office today):

1) Online Christmas shopping – I think I’m going to buy the black towels at Bed Bath and Beyond. I have a number of the 20% off a single item coupons that are moldering away in my glove box. I got two more gifts. One for my father-in-law and one for his girlfriend.

2) Watched the last episode of The Office on my lunch hour. Emailed Klem to find out why Michael hates Toby so much. Does anybody know?

3) Renewed my library books online

4) Periodically checked in with perezhilton.com for celebrity updates

5) Downloaded some songs from Itunes

6) Updated my Netflix queue. Have a mentioned that I’m watching “A Touch of Frost” and I’m seriously in love with David Jason? He’s a short, middle-aged balding British man with a mustache and I can’t get enough of him.

7) And just so that I earned my wages, I did some filing while listening to Robert Plant and Alison Krauss.

Perhaps we shall gossip tomorrow……

Lunch Challenge Wednesday

Today is Lunch Challenge Wednesday.

My packed lunch includes:

ham and cheese on whole wheat bread
smokin’ cheddar and BBQ doritos
two mini cowtails
pepsi

Challenge!!

In other news, I love you all, but I’m finding it increasingly hard to comment on all the other blogs that are out there especially since so many are participating in the NaBloPoMo thing. I can’t keep up with all of them.

So I’ve devised a plan.

I will read your blog and then leave this comment:

“Please refer to #4 in your Calling Dr. Bombay hymnal.

Then you go to MY blog and look up #4 and feel all kinds of warm and fuzzy.

Calling Dr. Bombay hymnal:
1) Ha!
2) Sheer genius
3) I wish I could write like you
4) You are a blog god/goddess. I must shield my eyes from your brilliance
5) This is drivel. My monkey could write better than this.
6) You rock!!
7) I’m laughing so hard I’m crying.
8) I don’t understand you but I love you anyway
9) Shut up!! (but in the good way)
10) Stop writing now before the blog police take away your right to blog

We will have effectively killed two birds with one stone.

You’ll get the blog love you crave and I’ll have lured you into my blogweb.

It’s a win-win situation, no?

orange tuesday

may i present for orange tuesday :



a REALLY BIG PEN

This also fulfills my "buy a Christmas present a week" requirement, as this REALLY BIG PEN is for my nephew Jason.

Meme 1

Name three songs that have the word “rain” or “water” in the title.

November Rain - Guns N Roses
Singin' in the Rain - Gene Kelly
Smoke on the Water - Deep Purple

Name 1 toy you owned when you were younger, that meant a lot to you.

I had a dolly named Baby Special. She had a hard plastic head and a soft cloth body. My mother made clothes for her and I had a wooden cradle to rock her to sleep. I still have Baby Special.

Name 2 games you enjoyed playing as a child.

I always liked Candyland.
Dutchblitz. My mother, sister and I wiled away many a night playing this game. We would get loud and rambunctious and I challenge anyone of you to a game!!

Name 3 foods you didn’t like as a child, but do now.

There isn't a food that I didn't like and do now. I didn't like peas and I still don't. Although I eat them because they are good for me.

Name 4 foods you didn’t like as a child, and still don’t like.
Harvard Beets
Canteloupe - it literally makes me gag
Peas - i don't like peas.
Red beet eggs.
This is a bonus - Pimento loaf

barbie dolls

A month ago, my sister Jody informed me that I could get a Barbie doll for my niece phoebe’s birthday.

Her exact words were, “Phoebe is ready for a Barbie doll.”

I was so excited by this news. I hadn’t been sure if my sister was going to allow Barbie dolls in her house. She’d already banned everything Disney and you can’t even mention Barney. And I couldn’t imagine Phoebe growing up without experinceing the joy and delight that is a Barbie doll

When we were little girls, Jody was more of a Pretty Pony girl. She did have one Barbie, but she didn’t play with it much and it soon came to live with my dolls.

So it was with great delight and a trip down memory lane that I chose Birthday Barbie for Phoebe’s birthday. This Barbie even came with a birthday cake.

I have to say that the Barbie dolls look a little weird compared to the dolls of my day. They have these big bulbous heads and doe-like eyes.

And the clothing choices??? More than a little sluttish.

I have promised my sister to exercise some control and only limit myself to two Barbies. But she didn’t say anything about getting the one thing that I longed for as a little girl and never got.

Barbie’s dream house.

me and my small mouth

i went to the dentist today and learned, much to my vindication, that i do NOT have a big mouth after all.

both the dentist and her assistant commented on that fact several times.

i wanted the dentist to write a note to my mother to verify this. i cannot tell you how many times my mother has instructed me to shut my big mouth.

you'll be dismayed to learn that i had two cavities filled today and have to go back in two weeks for three more fillings.

this is what comes from a diet comprised mainly of oreos, krimpets and candy corn.

Zach Attack

This is how NaBloPoMo is going to work here at Dr. Bombay’s (subject to change at my whim and fancy):


Meme Monday – every Monday I’ll do a MEME. I promise I won’t tag you

Orange Tuesday – all orange, all day

Lunch Challenge Wednesday – what are YOU eating for lunch today?

Shallow Thursday – it’s all about celebrities and fashion and tv and movies

Zach Attack Fridays – tune in to see how much Zach has grown.

Saturday and Sundays are free spots. who knows WHAT will come up?

And now, here is the latest Zach Attack:

Note his spiffy Halloween garb:

This is big brother Jedi Knight Alex - he was supposed to be Yoda but wouldn't wear the ears.

The ears mysteriously appeared on Big Daddy Yoda.

Nablopomo

I’ve sold my soul and joined nablopomo

This means that I have sworn to post to my blog every day in the month of November.

Aren’t you excited?

I’m not promising much.

But I think that if I’m going to post every day then the least you can do is support me in this endeavor and leave some comment love.

And that means YOU, your dirty lurkers.

You know who you are…..Teri (and yes, i know i owe you krimpets!)

Wish me luck.