Making the band

The summer between my freshman and sophomore years of college I landed a good paying job. It was at a state-run (Dept of Mental Health/Mental Retardation) institution for the mentally retarded. More commonly known as a State School.

I worked there along with my best-good friend Sanna and Jess (you all know Jess, she’s the one who keeps me in Oreos) and our other friend Molly. Sanna’s parents were high muckety-mucks there and were instrumental in helping us get the jobs.

After we were hired, we had to endure two weeks of intensive on-the-job-training. There we were, on our summer vacations, back in a classroom setting taking copious notes and being drilled on how to safely do a two-man lift, how to do proper chart documentation, how to change a diaper on an adult and more. These were serious issues involving people with disabilities. And it was impressed upon us most strongly that we needed to treat these patients, clients, individuals (the name changed yearly with the need to always be politically correct, being a state-run institution and all) with the utmost respect.

We managed to keep our act together and behave like semi-responsible adults until we got to the section on bowel movements and such. It became too much. Too graphic. There was one phrase that particularly got to us and sent our imaginations soaring.

Within a few minutes, Sanna and I had founded an imaginary band, decided on our stage names, had a snappy tag line and titles for the first six songs off our new CD.

Ladies and gentleman, may I present, LIVE!! TONIGHT ONLY!!!

“THE LIQUID MOVEMENTS”featuring “Sphinc” & “Flatch”

“They will cause you an urge to open and defecate”

1)Seemingly Endless State of Flux
2)Kiss The Bubble
3)The Narrow Realm
4)Woeful Shortcomings
5)Glacial Pace
6)Lustful Crust

We would have been HUGE internationally.

Finer points contributed by Sanna aka Sphinc