Sage Advice

I just gave my sister-in-law Jenny, (you all know her, she’s The Zach Attack’s mother) some unsolicited advice. I can’t resist giving people advice, especially when they don't ask for it.

The advice given was a sound bit of advice that my mother gave me years ago.

When someone asks or says something to you that is wildly inappropriate or simply none of their business you fix them with a beady eye and say “why ever would you say a thing like that”. In general, I have found that saying this usually stops a person in their tracks.

Other kernels of wisdom from my mother:

1) Make your head save your heels – meaning that when you are going up or downstairs to please take something with you. I heard this one a lot, since we lived in split-level house.
2) Don’t burp at the table – if you burp at the table at home, when you go out to eat you might forget yourself and burp in public.
3) If you wash your dishes by hand always dry them thoroughly before putting them away. She didn’t believe in air-drying dishes. First you wash and then dry with a linen dishtowel and then put away. Putting dishes away wet breeds bacteria. To this day, when I let dishes air dry on the counter I feel a little bit naughty. She also taught me to rinse out the dish cloth in boiling hot water so it doesn’t get sour
4) If you are behind on your dinner preparations, chuck some onions in the frying pan so when your husband comes in it smells like dinner is well on its way
5) When your husband comes home from a hard days work, don’t immediately bombard him with your troubles. Let him decompress. I let my husband pet the cat and watch Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon on ESPN’s PTI.

Now I know the last two bits of advice sound way too 1950’s for us modern women, but if doing these things avoid an argument then what is the harm?