April 22nd - Fun for everyone

Big day today – not only is it my birthday (which I share with Jack Nicholson), but it is also Earth Day (be nice to the Earth, it’s the only one we’ve got) and Administrative Professionals Day.

In celebration of APD I’ve compiled a list of noteworthy Administrative Professionals:


Mrs. Wiggins


Miss Moneypenny - Although she worked for "M", James was her one true love.


Waylon Smithers - who secretly longs for Mr. Burns


Baldrick - dogsbody for The Black Adder




Jennifer Marlowe - Receptionist for WKRP in Cincinnati - Don't let the blonde hair fool you, she was the smartest one at the station

Who would you have picked?

Belated Easter Tidings

I spent the Easter holiday with my parents out in PA...and before those of you who live in PA start up with the whole "why didn't you come see me", we came in late Saturday and left Sunday afternoon. I wouldn't have had the time to visit each and every one of you. Maybe next time!

More importantly, I want to introduce you to "My Precious"


Isn't she a beauty? She is an early birthday present to myself.

We will be friends for life.

general announcements

We are heading into the final days of Lent.  When is over, I'll have been without soda for 40 days.  The first couple of days were very hard. I had to give up my daily Pepsi, which caused me to have massive headaches as the caffeine to which I had become addicted slowly left my body.

 

As part of Lent, in addition to giving up something that I enjoy, I'm also giving up "stuff" in my life.  Not just the clutter that seems to surround me at home, but the clutter that surrounds my heart.  I'm giving up the resentment I've been harboring towards a particular person.  It is not doing me or my marriage any good, so I'm letting it go.

 

For those of you who don't know, April in my birth month.

 

I share this month with other friends and family including but not limited to my mother and my wee niece Verna Mavis.

 

Please note that I'm not trolling for gifts or anything, but should you feel the need to show your love and affection for Nejyerf, I'm going to give you a gift idea.

 

Pay attention Mum!!

 

I would love an iTunes gift card.  As you may or may not know, I got an iPod Touch for Christmas and have been building my music library. But the iPod Touch does more than just play music. I can also download movies and TV episodes and books and music videos.   

 

Just a thought for those interested parties.

 

The time has come to pack away my winter wardrobe and bring out my spring/summer clothes.  Just in time too, considering that the pants I've been wearing all winter are a size too big.  I'm putting all of them in the Good Will bin and will think about shopping for new clothes next fall.

update on the razor blades

I checked on eBay. 

 

They are selling the razor blades for cheap. As well as the baby formula that G Love mentioned. 

 

eBay is the modern-day blackmarket.

 

I don't want to pay the ridiculous prices the stores are asking for these thin pieces of metal, nor do I want to support the thieving bastards. 

 

If only I could talk Tom into using an electric razor or growing a beard.

 

I myself would give up shaving my legs no problem.  Actually,  while we are on the subject, last time I shaved my legs was in October.  You should see them.  They look like men's legs. 

 

Oh yes, I am lovely to cuddle up to on a cold winters night!!

 

What is the longest you have gone without shaving?

razor blades

Last night I went to CVS to get Tom fresh blades for his razor. 

 

Much to my surprise and bewilderment I found that CVS keeps razor blades for the Gillette Mach3 and Mach4 and Fusion etc. under lock and key.

 

I had to get a cashier to unlock the case.

 

When I asked him why they are kept locked, he told me that people steal them.  He pointed to the empty case where the Fusion blades would normally be and said "This case was left unlocked and someone cleaned us out."

 

This begs the question "Why are people stealing razor blades?"

 

Are razor blades locked up in your neck of the woods?

 

Delurk to tell me.  I need to know.  This could keep me up nights!

dreams

If you have been following along at all with my MS related stories, you might recall that I have exceptionally vivid dreams due to the low-dose naltrexone that I've been taking.

 

Sometimes they are about strange things.  For example, I had a dream that I chased Sarah Jessica Parker down a city street and then proceeded to spank her bare bottom with her flip-flop.

 

Most often, they are sex dreams involving my husband which, as I have expressed before, are a big gyp. 

 

Last night I had a dream that involved one of the guys I work with.  In my dream he came up behind me and nuzzled my neck. In my dream I enjoyed it.

 

I awoke from this dream feeling a little naughty. 

 

The dream lingered with me all morning and when I got to work I couldn't even look him in the face.

 

We have been having very brief, stilted conversations all day. 

 

I am also stealing furtive glances over my shoulder to make sure he's not sneaking up behind me.

like, like, like,

Note: Missy....you should be getting a package today.

 

I say "like" entirely too much for a person of my advancing years.

 

Like, do you know what I mean? 

 

Like, I when I try to, like, describe something, I, like, use the word "like", like way too often.

 

You would think I'm, like a high school kid.

 

Help me!!!!

BOLO

Cory - a package for you is on the way.

 

Jenster - email me your address nejyerf@hotmail.com

 

Missy - patience grasshopper

 

Yesterday morning when I arrived at work I was greeted by an agitated co-worker. She was angry with me.  She hollered and gave me some serious attitude.  This in turn made me so very, very angry. I tossed my calculator across the desk with a vengeance and sat fuming. I plotted how I was going to confront her and tell her that she's acting like a petulant child and that if she knew what was good for her, she would not talk to me this way. 

 

(This is one of the drawbacks of working with women. They can get so bitchy.  Plus it doesn't help that she is Colombian and to further complicate things, she is NEVER wrong.  It must be exhausting being perfect all the time!!)

 

I pulled myself together and after a cooling off period, I began to put into practice my tactic for dealing with assholes.

 

I got biblical on her ass. 

 

I do a combination of the following:

 

Turning the other cheek: 

 

"That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." Matthew 5:39 (KJV)

 

and heaping coals:

 

"Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head." Romans 12:20 (KJV)

 

Some people might prefer confrontation.  But I have found that in the work place confrontation leads to hurt feelings and festering animosity. I choose to play nice. 

 

Getting biblical works every time   Seems as though the Lord knows what he is talking about.

 

If doing the above two things doesn't work for you, you can go a step further, look the angry person straight in the eye and say to them ever so earnestly "You seem to be so miserable that I'm going to pray and ask God to help you find peace in your heart".  I guarantee that talking about God in such a personal and intimate way makes most people so very uncomfortable that will abandon their beef with you and send them scurrying for the safety of their desk/cubicle, leaving you the victor.

first day of spring, my foot!!

Two nights ago it was mild enough that I was able to go out without a coat. I even heard peepers for the first time.

 

This morning, the official first day of spring, I awoke to a light dusting of snow on the ground.

 

I was not amused.

an octet of non sequiturs

Try as I might, I've never gotten the knack of using chop-sticks.

 

I've never really liked reading poetry. It makes my head hurt.

 

My all-time favorite Christmas movie is "White Christmas". I always thought Vera-Ellen looked like a Barbie doll come to life.

 

Do you think Michelle Obama has a nickname for Barack? 

 

There are personages of my acquaintance who are know-it-alls. After prolonged exposure, I just want to punch them in the mouth.

 

Did you know, Dorothy Parker was a profoundly unhappy woman with a razor tongue.  And she also had Communist leanings? 

 

For my Snyder County friends.... I can't decide which are better - peanut butter Easter eggs or coconut cream?  Dad bought me one of each from the Beavertown Fire Company.

 

My favorite quote from Beaches?  "Iris Myandowski is a hand-walking queer!"

BOLO

Sanna and Melody....be on the lookout for a package coming in the mail this week.  Sanna, yours may have already arrived.  

 

Cory and Missy.....you're up next.

 

In other news, I have discovered that if a person quits commenting on the blogs she reads faithfully and only posts sporadically on her own blog, said blog soon becomes like a ghost town. 

 

See the tumbleweeds and dust blowing in the wind?

 

Tell me to get off my lazy ass and get back to posting!!!!

 

I'm depending on you.

(un)comfortably numb

One of the symptoms of MS is numbness.

 

Both my feet are pretty numb as well my legs and somedays it travels up to my ribcage. 

 

My left hand is also numb. 

 

Numb might not be the right word for it.  Altered sensation is more accurate. 

 

Be that as it may, the numbness in my extremities is not my point for this post.

 

The real numbness seems to be an emotional one. 

 

Sometimes I wonder if, like our country, I'm going into a bit of a depression.

 

Or maybe I'm finally growing up, because I'm finding it harder and harder to get worked up about things.  Things that used to bother me just slide right off, like water off a ducks back.

 

Take the skirmish Himself and I had the other day about the breadbox.

 

Jen: "WHY, in the name of all that is holy and wise, do you leave continue to leave the bread box lid down?  Seriously.  When you are done with the bread and you put it back in the bread box, just put the lid up. Look at how simple it is to close the lid".

 

Jen (opens bread box): Open

 

Jen (closes bread box with a bang):  CLOSED

 

Jen:  Now how hard was that?

 

I must say, he took the hollering and assorted histrionics like a champ and I thought my point was made.

 

The next morning the lid was down again. And I knew in my very soul that he did it on purpose.  Just to mess with me. However, because I had expended all my anger and frustration the day before, I just shrugged off my irritation and calmly closed the bread box myself. 

 

In the past,  I would have harangued him endlessly just to prove my point.  Oh, yes I was a joy to live with!!!. 

 

But now? 

 

Now I just take a deep breath and move on.

 

Life is too short and otherwise complicated to be all het up about nothing.

 

HOWEVER.....just try drinking out of my orange mug or sleeping in my bed without my knowledge or permission!

 

That is a whole different kettle of fish!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

donuts

Even though I'm constantly jonesin' for a Pepsi I've stayed strong with my commitment of "no soda" for Lent.

 

However I did have two Dunkin Donuts today, a French cruller and a Boston Creme. One right after the other. Which left me decidedly nauseous but strangely satisfied.

 

Yesterday I sent the first of my packages out.  This one was to my mother.  Since she won't be writing in to tell us what she received, I'll let you know that I sent her an assortment of 1950's stickers and gift tags that she can use for the various crafty things she make. 

 

Who will be next to receive a gift from Jen?!?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday Notes

1) I gave up Pepsi for Lent. Actually I gave up ALL carbonated beverages. It will be hard since I dearly love Pepsi.  Which is the whole point of giving up something for Lent. As a bonus, hopefully I'll able to knock off 5 more lbs!!

 

2) I have been sitting on several packages that I meant to send to people months ago.  Therefore, my pledge for the month of March is to send them out. So if your name is Sanna or Teacher Bee (if you are still reading) or Liz from Quiet in the Stacks or Melody or Betsy or sister-in-law Jenny or All Knowing Jen or Mum or even Min (email me your address at nejyerf@hotmail.com if you are interested) you'll soon be getting a package from Jen.  I promise!!!  If anybody else would like a package from Jen shoot me an email and I'll send you a little giftie, just for the hell of it!!

 

3) I've only just started reading a book about the author(s) of Nancy Drew.  I grew up reading Nancy Drew and loved her so.  I wanted to have two best friends like Bess and George and drive a low-slung roadster. 

 

4) I just finished reading the Emily of New Moon books by L.M. Montgomery.  She is just as satisfying a heroine as Anne of Green Gables.  While reading the book, there were several mentions of Emily "putting on her wraps" before going outside.  I wish we still wore wraps.  It sounds so much more romantic than putting on a coat, don't you think?

 

5) Tomorrow marks the end of February.  I am so very ready to see the back of February. I have had enough of the cold and ice and snow.  I am ready for some sun, even if it is weak, watery, blustery March sun.

Shining, gleaming, streaming, waxen, flaxen

When we were in high school, my best good friend Sanna and I both had long hair. Mine was brownish-blonde and slightly wavy. Sanna had a mass of luxuriant black, curly hair. Our friend Frank used to stroke her hair, murmuring "Your hair, your hair, your beautiful hair".

Growing up in central PA we had our choice of sports teams to root for. Either the Phildelphia teams: The Eagles and the Philles or the Pittsburgh teams: The Steelers and the Pirates. Most of the boys in our class were Eagles/Phillies fans. In an attempt to be be different, Frank was a Steelers/Pirates fan.

Troy Polomalou, Pro-bowl strong safety for the Pittsburgh Steelers also has a mass of luxuriant, black, curly hair.

Where am I going with this you ask?

I just wonder if, when Frank watches Troy make a tackle or run down the field with his locks flowing in the breeze, does he whisper to himself "his hair, his hair, his beautiful hair?"

As a bonus, watch as Troy gets tackled by his hair. He said it didn't hurt.


She asks me why
I'm just a hairy guy
I'm hairy noon and night
Hair that's a fright
I'm hairy high and low
Don't ask me why
Don't know
It's not for lack of bread
Like the Grateful Dead
Darling

Gimme head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming,
Streaming, flaxen, waxen

Give me down to there hair
Shoulder length or longer
Here baby, there mama
Everywhere daddy daddy

Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair

Let it fly in the breeze
And get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas in my hair
A home for fleas
A hive for bees
A nest for birds
There ain't no words
For the beauty, the splendor, the wonder
Of my...

Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair

I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy
Shining, gleaming, streaming
Flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka-dotted
Twisted, beaded, braided
Powdered, flowered, and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied!

Oh say can you see
My eyes if you can
Then my hair's too short

Down to here
Down to there
Down to where
It stops by itself

They'll be ga ga at the go go
When they see me in my toga
My toga made of blond
Brilliantined
Biblical hair

My hair like Jesus wore it
Hallelujah I adore it
Hallelujah Mary loved her son
Why don't my mother love me?

Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair

Notes from NJ

1)  I hate when people do air quotes.  It makes me want to very viciously bite off and then ptui contemptuously spit the fingers at their feet .

 

2)  Tom has been waging a mighty and fierce battle with our rodent enemy in the basement.  He likens it to the Star Wars Clone Wars.  The mice just keep coming, one after another. 

 

3)  Alas, football is over.  The Pro Bowl was last night.  Now we must say goodbye to our weekly visits with Chris Berman and Tom Jackson and Coach Ditka. 

 

4)  Facebook continues to enthrall me.  Just this past weekend I reconnected with my Cousin Bob, who lives in Germany.

 

5)  Anybody else going to watch the Housewives of NYC? I can't wait for the next season!!

 

 

Tri Lambs rock!

I will sit through Revenge of the Nerds just for this

so betwixt the two, they licked the platter clean

Last week we got KFC. 

 

Original chicken and two sides – mac and cheese and coleslaw.

 

As usual, we ate in front of the TV.

 

Tom, who had imbibed several beers, became drowsy and passed out on the couch, leaving his plate of half-eaten food on the coffee table.

 

I was engrossed in a movie and wasn't paying much attention to my surroundings until I heard the unmistakable sounds of slurping. 

 

I looked over and there was our cat Althea, precariously perched on the coffee table, madly licking away at the macaroni and cheese.  I shooed her away and went back to watching my movie.

 

When the movie was finished I went to bed.

 

The next evening, while Tom and I were discussing our day, I told him how much Althea enjoyed licking the mac and cheese off his plate. 

 

A funny look came over his face as he admitted that when he woke up in the wee hours and saw his plate of food still on the coffee table he proceeded to eat the rest of his dinner, cat spit and all!!

bring on the blender and the coffee makers

My mother tells a story of how when I was no more than 3 or 4 I disappeared from the backyard. She looked everywhere for me only to discover that I was over visiting the neighbor.  He was up on a ladder, painting his house. He told my mother I was keeping him company.  In reality, he was a captive audience.  I was talking his ear off and most likely divulging family secrets.

 

Not so long ago, a co-worker made a pointed remark that I could "talk to a toaster".  He was implying that I talk too much.

 

It is true.

 

My mother calls it  "diarrhea of the mouth".

 

Ask anyone who knows me well and they will tell you, that at the drop of hat I can and will talk for hours on any given topic, sometimes with little or no knowledge of the subject matter.

 

The other day I was challenged with a strange phenomenon.

 

It turns out I CAN control myself and not talk to every Tom, Dick or Harry.

 

I was in a social situation, sitting next to a person with whom I couldn't even bring myself to start a civilized conversation.

 

Of course it might have more to do with the fact that a toaster has more personality than this person. 

facebook

I've been neglecting my posting duties over here at Calling Dr. Bombay in favor of the just as fascinating world of Facebook.

 

Thanks to Facebook, I've reconnected with my several of my cousins as well as an old high-school friend (Hello Ed!). 

 

I thought he had fallen off the face of the earth only to find him on Facebook. I've known Clark or "Ed" as he preferred to be called, since the 4th grade and am so glad to be back in contact with him.  Air kisses for Ed!!

 

If you really need to talk to me, come find me on Facebook and if I'm feeling particularly generous that day I just might accept you as my friend!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just call me McScrooge

Last year I took a long, hard look at my spending habits and made a conscious decision to curb my shopping.  I thought it would be difficult, since up until the time Ifelldownthestairsandbrokemyleg, I was making weekly trips to Wal-Mart where I made frivolous, impulsive purchases.

 

Turns out, recovering from a broken leg seriously hinders lengthy shopping expeditions which in turn means less money spent.  I also took sister-in-law Jenny's credo of not buying anything on credit.  If I can't pay cash I don't purchase. Even Christmas, 95% of my Christmas purchases were made online and paid for through PayPal which is directly linked to my bank account.

 

The upshot of all this thrift is that my bank account has grown very healthy and I've turned into a bit of a miser who likes to call the 1-800 number for my bank and check my account balance nearly every day.

 

And to give you fair warning, It also make me less likely to buy you pretty things for your birthday!!

 

but i loosened the lid

Sometimes an independent girl just needs a little help opening a jar of spaghetti sauce.

Do your balls hang low?

Do your balls hang low? Do they swing to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder like a Continental soldier?
Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hang low?

Remember a couple of months ago when I told you that Tom told me about a football player that had a staph infection that settled in his nether regions?

No?

Well he did and gullible ol' Jen fell for the story hook, line and sinker.

Turns out Tom was just yanking my chain.

So the other day when he told me about his friend who is cursed with a set of low-hanging balls I greeted the story with a great deal of scepticism.

I'm thinking that if and when I ever meet this person I simply must insist on a visual inspection.

the perfect letter

I prefer to write rather than print.

 

My little 3yr old niece Verna can print better than I.

 

Truthfully my writing is not much better, but it has greatly improved since my high school days.

 

It always affords me great satisfaction when I can make a perfect looking letter.

 

In particular the letter "J".

 

When I pen the perfect "J" I always stop for a moment to bask in the glow of a well-executed letter. 

 

Which perfect letter makes you happy? 

 

Or am I the only one who gets all giddy over something this simple?

zappos

I just wanted to take a moment out of a crazy busy day to let you know that I placed an order with Zappos.com.

 

Sanna introduced us. 

 

I am in heaven! 

 

I got 5, count them, 5 pairs of shoes. 

 

Extravagant I know, but when you consider that I've been wearing the same pair of sneakers for almost two years it evens out.

 

One pair is orange and white.

 

For anyone who is still checking out Calling Dr. Bombay, Aunt Benita asked me "What did you get for Christmas that was orange?"

 

I personally received tangerine colored and flavored lip gloss from my sister.

 

But the bigger orange thing was the orange toaster oven that I got for Tom. 

 

He has been moaning for months that we needed a toaster oven and I have been resisting.  But when I saw the orange one at jcp.com I just had to have it.

Christmas Eve

We had icy conditions this morning and my boss called to tell me that since we were only doing a half-day anyway that I shouldn't risk it to come in.

I immediately went back to bed.

Now I'm watching my husband wrap the Christmas gifts. He gets so joy in wrapping the gifts which is just fine by me since I loathe wrapping gifts.

He started out the gift-wrapping with a movie - The Bridge on the Rive Kwai. Not exactly Christmas-y, but since he is wrapping I don't care.

Now we are watching James Bond - Diamonds Are Forever.

Later on we will watch A Christmas Story.

A Merry Christmas to all my lovely blog-friends.

Notes

1)Yesterday I ordered a brand new washer and dryer that will deliver the day after Christmas. This is our Christmas gift to each other. I couldn't ask for anything more.

2) It started to snow about 15 minutes ago. According to the weather channel it is going to snow all day. Hopefully we will leave early!

3) I got a package in the mail from my best good friend Sanna. I will resist temptation and open it on Christmas day.

4) Every day when I get home from work there is a UPS delivery on my front porch. I LOVE internet shopping

5) We got our Christmas bonus yesterday. In addition to a check we also each got an iPod touch. Now I just need to figure out how it works.

6) We use a carrier called Flash Logistics....every time I say their name I always think of the Flash Gordon song by Queen......
Flash - Ah - Saviour of the universe
Flash - Ah - He'll save ev'ry one of us
Words and Music by Brian May

christmas cards

Raise your hand if you can't live without a Christmans card from Jen.

I don't really feel like sending out cards this year. I did it last year, even though I was recuperating from a broken leg.

Usually I like to take the time to pick-out nice cards but not this year. If I DO send out cards it will be from a box of 40 cards that I got at the dollar store.

Raise your hand if you still want a cheap 2¢ card.

CVS

The other night, when I was in CVS buying Nyquil for Tom, I looked around and suddenly realized that I could do all my Christmas shopping right there in the CVS.

They have something for everyone....toys for the nieces and nephews, perfume and aftershave for the grandparents, DVD's,  candy, candles, wrapping paper, cards, Tastykake Krimpets....they have it all.

And the best part? 

They are open 24 hrs and are right next door to Dunkin' Donuts where I can enjoy a glazed donut and a cup of hot chocolate after a strenuous night of shopping.

afta

Every morning Tom puts on aftershave lotion.  Currently he's using Afta.  The scent of this lotion is particularly noisome. It wafts up into my nostrils and makes me want vomit.

 

This morning I plucked up the courage to tell him that I hate this aftershave lotion.  He informed me in no uncertain terms that he likes it and isn't going to change. 

 

I suggested a compromise that if he is going to continue to use it could he please put it on in the bathroom.

 

I heard him mumble as he went down the stairs "Oh, it's all about Jen".

 

My heart rejoiced.

 

It's taken him almost 15 years of marriage but he finally understands that indeed it IS all about Jen.

words fail me

For those of you who don't wake up to the dulcet tones of ESPN's Mike and Mike in the Morning, you won't know that the New York Yankees are working on a deal with pitcher CC Sabathia.  Here's their offer:  $160million for 7 years.

 

Which will make him the highest paid pitcher in baseball history.

 

The Yankees better make the World Series next year or all of New York will be out for his blood!

 

 

 

 

 

 

If I don't love me who will?

I'll never forget it... I was in 7th or 8th grade, walking home from school, running through the days events in my head.

 

I was thinking about the particularly bad lunch period that day when I inadvertantly pissed off an upperclassman by sitting in her seat at the lunch table.  And not moving. 

Little did I know that I had made an enemy who would treat me with great animosity throughout my high school career. 

 

This was when I was struck by the realization that everyone may not like me.  Up until then I was laboring on the delusion that I was warm and funny and beloved by all.

 

I was heartsick that there was someone out there that didn't like me.

 

Thirty years later, I just don't care if you like me or not because I am fabulous (or that is what I tell myself!).

 

As for the girl was so mean to me?

 

Sad to say, she got cancer and died before she was 35.

 

 

 

 

 

cha-cha

Today I had to send an email to a woman named Maria Digregorio.

 

But in my mind I keep calling her Cha-cha.

 

How many people know who Cha-cha Digregorio is?

 

Don't be shy.

 

Feel free to admit that you watch this movie every time it comes on TV.

 

I know I do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

fin

nablopomo...she is finished.

three cheers!!!!

what i meant to do

today i meant to get more laundry done and maybe do some christmas shopping, go visit my sister-in-law and her family who are visiting from IN.

she is the mother of the zach attack.

do you remember him?

remind me to post a picture of him. we haven't seen him since last november.

instead i chose to spend the day ensconced on the couch watching tv.

tomorrow is the last day of nablopomo. i shan't miss it one single bit!!!

black friday

i did not venture out to the stores on this black friday.

oh no.

instead i did laundry and made a quick trip to the a&p where i got fixin's for next weeks meals.

my best good friend ginger called today for a chat-fest. SHE did leave her warm bed first thing this morning and went to her local wal-mart where it was utter madness.

she also said that while there she ran into three of our high school classmates.

that is the beauty of living in or near the town where you've grown up. it is not uncommon to bump into classmates at the mall.

i remember when i first moved to nj and was suddenly hit but the depressing thought that i could wander around the mall for hours and never run into one person that i would know.

it made me so very sad.


oh rats!!

i just remembered.....i needed to get eggs!

quite simply...

Happy Thanksgiving!!

thud

this morning as i was walking out the front door, i slipped and fell on the icy front porch.

never fear, i did not break anything.

i'm just sore and bruised.

i would like to have seen a slow-motion video of me falling though, as i ended up spread-eagled on the front porch.

i landed with a resounding thud that actually made my husband put down the remote and come out to investigate the sound.

not only was the porch icy but so were the steps. since i was already down, i proceeded to navigate the steps on my bum.

great way to start a 4 day weekend!

restraint

At work today I made a mistake.

 

I admitted to my boss that I made the mistake.

 

His response was to holler at me.

 

I don't mean a reprimand.

 

Oh no, he raised his voice and hollered at me.  

 

Nay, he roared at me.

 

He roared like a wounded bull.

 

He did this while he was on the cell phone all the way out in Brooklyn.

 

This is how my boss works.

 

He won't do it face to face but rather from a distance.

 

Remember the time he wrote me the note about internet usage while on company time?

 

He never actually addressed me personally. He sent me an email.

 

I guess I should be thankful that he's passive-aggressive like that.

 

But I gotta tell you, when he hollered at me with such ferocity, it took everything within me not to holler back.

 

Because it is my nature to smart-mouth.

 

Just ask my mother.

 

 

announcement

I would like to take this opportunity to announce that I am officially out of my size 16 pants!!!!

 

For a while there it looked liked I was going to have to go up to a size 18 but when ifelldownthestairsandbrokemyleg and ended up in the hospital I turned a corner.

 

Eating hospital/institutional food will do that to a person.

 

Plus I have trained myself to stop when I feel full.  Or rather when I feel the first signs of nausea.  Not that I was eating until I got sick but rather at the first hint of the feeling "I don't want any more of this" I push the plate or put the cookie/candybar/cupcake down.

 

Susanna and I had a discussion months ago about how we have been programmed from the time we were little to "finish what is on your plate".  Especially when we go to a restaurant. Honestly, I feel that the waiter/waitress is judging me if I leave food on my plate, which is just plain stupid. 

 

Should I really care what a perfect stranger thinks of my eating habits?

 

Now on the rare occasion when I do go out to eat, I just ask for a doggie bag and tell the waitress that if I eat all of my dinner then I won't have room for dessert and I really want that cake/ice cream/pie etc.

 

My size 14 pants thank me for bringing them back into circulation.

 

Just imagine what size I could wear if I exercised!?!?!

 

 

 

 

short week

we've got a short week coming up.

only three days of work and then thanksgiving.

we'll be spending thanksgiving at tom's uncle Bruce and aunt Ellen.

his sister and her husband and their boys will be coming in from Indiana so Tom will get to play Uncle Tommy for a couple of days.

I am just going to revel in the fact that I won't have to make a meal on Thursday.

It also means that we are that much closer to the end of the NaBloPoMo nonsense because quite frankly, I'm tired of posting every day.

even lamer post today

just got gas.

filled up my tank for 21.00

price? $1.73 cash

woo-hoo

bought a gallon of milk - it was over $4.00

Maybe sister Jody can explain why milk prices are so high?!?!

lame excuses

i very nearly forgot to post this evening as i was so engrossed in my ironing.

honest.

i really was ironing.

and watching TV.

women behind bars on WE.

and then i remembered that i was supposed to try and get a repair set up for tom's xbox.

so that's done and so is this sad little blog post.

we are in mourning

we are in mourning over here at the dr. bombay household.

tom's xbox 360 gave up the ghost.

we've seen the dreaded red rings.

plus there is a football game on tonight viewable only if we subscribe to the NFL network.

if it were still the fashion to drape the house in black crape and wear black armbands we would.

and they will call him Pirate

Jody's kids named the puppy Pirate

This is himself


This is his sister Minnie


This is Pirate and Minnie and Morgan The Corgi

Jody also wants me to show you her rock garden. Wait until springtime, it will be beautiful!!

headache

I woke up in the wee hours of the morning with a monstrous headache.

 

I stumbled out of bed to the medicine cabinet, blindly shook out two Advil and fell back to sleep in the hopes that when I reawoke the headache would have vanished.

 

No such luck.

 

It had subsided from a scream to a dull roar, but it was still there, niggling at my temples and poking my eyes.

 

The headache followed me to work and as the day has worn on it is building back up into a scream.

 

Reasons for the headache?

 

Pick any one of the below:  

 

1) I slept funny on my pillow

2) I'm dehydrated

3) Tom turn on the kerosene heater

4) Onset of PMS

5) The weather - there must be a storm abrewin' 

 

I've been drinking lots of water to help but what else should I do?

 

Any suggestions for a surefire way of getting rid of a headache?

Women's Creed

Got this from Farmwife

batteries

the batteries on both of our remote phones need to be changed.

we've been without phones all day today since i didn't feel like going out to buy new batteries.

if you really need me you'll have to email me.

and no, we don't have cell phones.

Fawlty Towers

This weekend is dedicated to watching Fawlty Towers with John C
Cleese.



Now back to Basil, Sybil, Polly and Manuel.

"the sky is falling, the sky is falling"

Start your weekend by reading this article......this is so depressing

Celente Predicts Revolution, Food Riots, Tax Rebellions By 2012
Posted By admin On November 13, 2008 @ 10:14 am In Featured Stories 282 Comments
Paul Joseph WatsonPrison Planet.comThursday, November 13, 2008

Gerald Celente
The man who predicted the 1987 stock market crash and the fall of the Soviet Union is now forecasting revolution in America, food riots and tax rebellions - all within four years, while cautioning that putting food on the table will be a more pressing concern than buying Christmas gifts by 2012.
Gerald Celente, the CEO of Trends Research Institute, is renowned for his accuracy in predicting future world and economic events, which will send a chill down your spine considering what he told Fox News this week.
Celente says that by 2012 America will become an undeveloped nation, that there will be a revolution marked by food riots, squatter rebellions, tax revolts and job marches, and that holidays will be more about obtaining food, not gifts.
“We’re going to see the end of the retail Christmas….we’re going to see a fundamental shift take place….putting food on the table is going to be more important that putting gifts under the Christmas tree,” said Celente, adding that the situation would be “worse than the great depression”.
“America’s going to go through a transition the likes of which no one is prepared for,” said Celente, noting that people’s refusal to acknowledge that America was even in a recession highlights how big a problem denial is in being ready for the true scale of the crisis.
Celente says that by 2012 America will become an undeveloped nation, that there will be a revolution marked by food riots, squatter rebellions, tax revolts and job marches, and that holidays will be more about obtaining food, not gifts.

Celente, who successfully predicted the 1997 Asian Currency Crisis, the subprime mortgage collapse and the massive devaluation of the U.S. dollar, told UPI in November last year that the following year would be known as “The Panic of 2008,” adding that “giants (would) tumble to their deaths,” which is exactly what we have witnessed with the collapse of Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns and others. He also said that the dollar would eventually be devalued by as much as 90 per cent.
The consequence of what we have seen unfold this year would lead to a lowering in living standards, Celente predicted a year ago, which is also being borne out by plummeting retail sales figures.
The prospect of revolution was a concept echoed by a British Ministry of Defence report last year, which predicted that within 30 years, the growing gap between the super rich and the middle class, along with an urban underclass threatening social order would mean, “The world’s middle classes might unite, using access to knowledge, resources and skills to shape transnational processes in their own class interest,” and that, “The middle classes could become a revolutionary class.”
In a separate recent interview, Celente went further on the subject of revolution in America.
“There will be a revolution in this country,” he said. “It’s not going to come yet, but it’s going to come down the line and we’re going to see a third party and this was the catalyst for it: the takeover of Washington, D. C., in broad daylight by Wall Street in this bloodless coup. And it will happen as conditions continue to worsen.”

“The first thing to do is organize with tax revolts. That’s going to be the big one because people can’t afford to pay more school tax, property tax, any kind of tax. You’re going to start seeing those kinds of protests start to develop.”
“It’s going to be very bleak. Very sad. And there is going to be a lot of homeless, the likes of which we have never seen before. Tent cities are already sprouting up around the country and we’re going to see many more.”
“We’re going to start seeing huge areas of vacant real estate and squatters living in them as well. It’s going to be a picture the likes of which Americans are not going to be used to. It’s going to come as a shock and with it, there’s going to be a lot of crime. And the crime is going to be a lot worse than it was before because in the last 1929 Depression, people’s minds weren’t wrecked on all these modern drugs – over-the-counter drugs, or crystal meth or whatever it might be. So, you have a huge underclass of very desperate people with their minds chemically blown beyond anybody’s comprehension.”
The George Washington blog has compiled a list of quotes attesting to Celente’s accuracy as a trend forecaster.
“When CNN wants to know about the Top Trends, we ask Gerald Celente.”— CNN Headline News
“A network of 25 experts whose range of specialties would rival many university faculties.”— The Economist
“Gerald Celente has a knack for getting the zeitgeist right.”— USA Today
“There’s not a better trend forecaster than Gerald Celente. The man knows what he’s talking about.”- CNBC
“Those who take their predictions seriously … consider the Trends Research Institute.”— The Wall Street Journal
“Gerald Celente is always ahead of the curve on trends and uncannily on the mark … he’s one of the most accurate forecasters around.”— The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
“Mr. Celente tracks the world’s social, economic and business trends for corporate clients.”— The New York Times
“Mr. Celente is a very intelligent guy. We are able to learn about trends from an authority.”— 48 Hours, CBS News
“Gerald Celente has a solid track record. He has predicted everything from the 1987 stock market crash and the demise of the Soviet Union to green marketing and corporate downsizing.”— The Detroit News
“Gerald Celente forecast the 1987 stock market crash, ‘green marketing,’ and the boom in gourmet coffees.”— Chicago Tribune
“The Trends Research Institute is the Standard and Poors of Popular Culture.”— The Los Angeles Times
“If Nostradamus were alive today, he’d have a hard time keeping up with Gerald Celente.”— New York Post
So there you have it - hardly a nutjob conspiracy theorist blowhard now is he? The price of not heeding his warnings will be far greater than the cost of preparing for the future now. Storable food and gold are two good places to make a start.
Article printed from Infowars: http://www.infowars.com
URL to article: http://www.infowars.com/?p=5938

The DHL man

I'm guessing the DHL delivery man is single.

 

To begin with, he is a freaky looking little man with slightly protuberant eyes, a receding hairline and bad breath.

 

In general, separately these are things that a woman might be able to live with but combine them with a monstrously long black nose hair and you just know that this man has no woman in his life.

 

Because seriously, would you let your man go out of the house like that?

 

The whole time he was talking to me, I was trying so hard no to stare in rapt fascination at his nose, thinking at the same time "I'm SO going to blog about this"

 

 

silver threads among the gold

Have we discussed the fact that I'm slowly going grey?

Wrinkles I don't mind.

The age spots that I'm convincing myself are really freckles I don't mind either.

But the silvery strands twinkling in the light?

I'm taking them as a personal insult.

It is unsettling.

I always said that I would go grey naturally.

But I didn't expect it to happen quite so soon.

So the question becomes... should I cover the grey or not?

why?

i want to know why a person feels it necessary to pay for their whopper value meal with a credit/debit card and hold up the line at the drive thru?????

patience

you'll have to wait one more day.

i fell asleep when i got home and woke up irritable and grumpy.

i had to make dinner AND clear up.

i'm trying to institute a plan at our house where if i cook he has to clean up.

so far he's not buying it.

tune in tomorrow

tune in tomorrow when i will reminisce about last year when ifelldownthestepsandbrokemyleg.

this groove is out of tune

i am enjoying the hell out of this song right now

flouncy, flouncy

Just because there hasn't been any kind of announcement or exchangement of rings does not deter me from keeping my eye out for all things wedding for Susanna.

Just yesterday I saw this dress.

If you knew Sanna like I know Sanna, you would know that she's not a ruffly, flouncy kind of girl. But I think she would be stunning in this dress. I especially like the detail on the back of the skirt.

I'm going to keep sending her pictures and ideas. That way when he finally does pop the question we can go into full planning mode and have him up to the altar before he knows what has hit him!!

show me your 80's music

The other day it occured to me that there is a whole generation of kids out there who might just be on the verge of discovering Peter Gabriel for the very first time.

 

Oh I know he might not be to everybody's taste, but who can forget the scene in "Say Anything" when John Cusack as Lloyd Dobler hefts the gargantuan boom-box over his head and blasts "In Your Eyes" to Ione Skye's Diane Court?

 

Which 80's artist would you like to introduce to this generation?

 

Do you think they know Paul Simon's "Graceland"?

If your man won last night.....Congratulations.

If your man lost last night, my condolences.

I guess this means that Tina Fey can once again put her full concentration back into "30 Rock".

And the rest of us can start thinking about Christmas shopping!

vote don't vote I don't care

I know today is Election Day and I should be posting something all "Go Out And Vote, rah rah rah" but that just bores me to tears.

 

So instead I'm going to thank my my blog friend Melody who sent me a trick or treat box.

 

It was a nice little box lined with orange tissue paper and chock-full of different kinds of candies including Smarties.

 

For the record, Smarties consumed in mass quantities do NOT make a person smarter.

 

Also for the record, the way to Jen's heart is to send her a box of candy.

 

 

 

football and pirate puppies

Football has infiltrated my life to such a degree that today when my boss and I had a disagreement over something and decided that we were both at fault I couldn't help but use a football term "off-setting penalties"

In other news, my sister is the proud new mama to two Jack Rusell terriers.

She is allowing me some input on the boy puppy's name.

I suggested "Arf".

That went over like a lead balloon with nephew Jason.

He called me last night to tell me that they are thinking of calling the puppy "Pirate" because he has a black patch on one eye.

I was thinking that perhaps my lovely blog friends would like to toss in their two cents.

We have until Tuesday to come up with a good pirate name.

sunday dinner

Tonight we are having one of my favorite meals.

Ham slice
Kraft mac and cheese
Baked beans - Bush's grillin beans bourbon and brown sugar

Quick,easy and delicious.

But would someone please tell me why the mac & cheese box is so difficult to open?

Even though it clearly states "to open push here" it needs way more than just a push with my thumb. I always need to stab it with a knife first.

vertigo

Yesterday I went to see my neurologist.

While there I told him about my bout with vertigo and he explained to me that it could have been one of two things.

Either the MS, because apparently MS patients are prone to vertigo or it was the the way I held my head in the dentists' chair.

From the National MS Society website:

Dizziness is a common symptom of MS. People with MS may feel off balance or lightheaded. Much less often, they have the sensation that they or their surroundings are spinning -- a condition known as vertigo.

These symptoms are due to lesions—damaged areas—in the complex pathways that coordinate visual, spatial, and other input to the brain needed to produce and maintain equilibrium.
Consult a physician when dizziness or vertigo becomes bothersome or lasts a long time. Usually, the symptoms respond to an anti motion-sickness drug such as meclizine (Antivert®, Bonine®, or Dramamine®), the newer skin patches that deliver scopolamine, or the anti-nausea drug ondansetron (Zofran®). In very severe cases of dizziness or vertigo, a short course of corticosteroids.

Disorders of the Middle Ear Can Also Cause Dizziness
Other conditions that may cause dizziness include middle ear inflammation and benign tumors of the acoustic nerve that connects the ear and the brain.

Gives new meaning to the term "dizzy blonde", doesn't it?!?!

Happy Halloween

I have resolved to do NaBloPoMo again this year.

 

For those of you who don't know, that means every day for the month of November I'll be posting. It might not be much but it will be something.

 

Every single day.

 

Anticiptation abounds!

 

 

 

 

Affliction

In case you hadn't noticed, I was not around last week.

 

I have a good excuse. I became ill.

 

Monstrously ill.

 

Gravely ill.

 

At deaths' door ill.

 

Ok, maybe not quite that bad.

 

But I was really  sick.

 

Remember the dentist appointment?

 

The appointment went beautifully. 

 

I had four fillings and a scolding from Kevin the cute hygenist about my lack of flossing.

 

After the dentist it all went downhill.

 

I woke up Thursday night/early Friday morning with severe vertigo that seized hold and would not let go for days. 

 

I spent Friday and half of Saturday throwing up whenever I moved my head too much.

 

TV was out.

 

As was reading.

 

I was reduced to lying almost comatose on the couch in between bouts of nausea.

 

When I finally roused myself enough to go to the Dr, it turned out that I has some kind of inner ear inflammation.

 

He prescribed a weeks worth of prednisone.

 

My equilibirium was off.  I couldn't sit up straight.  I kept listing starboard.

 

I couldn't keep my balance if my life depended on it.

 

I was a mess.

 

I'm doing much better now.

 

Except for the fact that we had 4-6" of snow yesterday and as a result we've no power and an uprooted tree in the back yard.

 

Seriously...snow before Halloween?!?!?!

Sister

Today is my second try at the dentist.  I've confirmed my appointment so I know it is the right time.

 

Wish me luck!

 

In other news, my sister read my blog for the first time and wants everyone to know that even though she can lift a 100lb baby calf she is a delicate, fragile flower.

 

She also thinks I'm weird for having a blog and putting out such personal information for all and sundry to read.

 

Truthfully, that hurt my feelings. 

 

I don't consider myself weird.

 

Different perhaps.

 

Eccentric maybe.

 

But definitely not weird.

 

But then it occurred to me that Jody is not into the internet and all its wonder and glory.

 

You see, she has a real, full life.

 

Let me itemize just a few of the things my sister can do/does:

 

1) She works part-time for an upholsterer

2) She knows how to re-cane a chair

3) She can deliver a baby cow

4) She keeps chickens

5) She raises sheep

6) She shears sheep

7) She spins the wool from her sheep

8) She dyes the wool from her sheep

9) She knits with the wool from her sheep

10) She raises pigs

11) She arranges for her pigs to be butchered

12) She rides her horse 

13) She has a loom on which she weaves beautiful things

14) She is building a rock garden with giant Vermont rocks

15) She works two days a week as a church secretary

16) She is raising 3 three kids, 3 kittens and a Corgi dog named Morgan

17) She does the chores at the barn

18) She is involved in community activities

19) She keeps a close eye on her aged in-laws

20) She keeps the books for a business that is very often in the red

21) She will rebuild her front porch next spring

22) She is helping her husband and her neighbor build a pole barn on her property

23) She grows beautiful vegetables and herbs in her garden

24) She dries the herbs and then makes catnip mice and sends them to my cats

25) She is teaching her children how to become responsible, independent, free-thinking people

 

Shall I go on?

 

With all these myriads of things that occupy her life,  it is no wonder she thinks that someone who sits in front of a computer talking/writing about her trivial life is weird.

 

But I would venture to say that she will keep coming back to read what nonsense her big sister is writing about today.

 

And I'm sure, if pressed, she will contribute some "Notes from the Northeast Kingdom" for your reading enjoyment this winter.

Grapefruits

I must share this with you and yes, I am well aware that it borders on the vulgar but nevertheless it must be told:

 

My husband told me about an NFL football player that couldn't play this past Sunday because of an undisclosed illness.

 

During a radio interview, Boomer Esiason divulged that the player had a staph infection that caused his manly bits to swell up to the "size of grapefruits" (that might be hyperbole on Tom's part)

 

I winced in sympathy.

 

But the mental image I have of a big, tough NFL player mincing along bow-legged will be with me for days.

 

Now you too can have this image in YOUR brain.

 

No need to thank me.

Pink Pearl

Ah, the pink pearl eraser.

Everyone, at some point in their school career has used a pink pearl eraser.

I must have used an entire eraser each year that I took algebra and trig and geometry in high school.

Over the weekend I started to watch “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” and it reminded me of the list I found last month when Ginger was out visiting and we were going through my box of old high school memories.

Amiable Agate
Alluring Amber
Ardent Amethyst
Charming Coral
Daring Diamond
Enticing Emerald
Fickle Fluorite
Gracious Garnet
Joyful Jade
Lovely Lapis-Lazuli
Mysterious Moonstone
Obscure Obsidian
Ominous Onyx
Obstreperous Opal
Pink Pearl
Pernicious Peridot
Ravishing Ruby
Startling Sapphire
Sinful Sardonyx
Tempting Topaz
Zealous Zircon

This, my friends, was a brain storm I had in Algebra II.

I remember it distinctly.

I was staring at my pink pearl eraser and it suddenly occurred to me that Pink Pearl would be an excellent name for a madam.

She would work at "The Jewel Box" and the girls would have jewel names.

My friends all liked the idea and picked their monikers: Ginger was Ravishing Ruby, Sanna was Gracious Garnet , Jess was Ardent Amethyst and I, of course was Pink Pearl.

I barely passed Algebra II that year.

Who would you be?

Dentist Part Deux

Okay....so I screwed up my appointment time yesterday and had to reschedule for Thursday.  I'm still dreading it. But now I have time to catch up on flossing!!

 

I have a much better post in the works.  Come back a little later in the day.

 

 

the dentist

Lately, my enjoyment of all things sweet and delicious has diminished due to several cavities.

 

I have been ignoring them for some time, but when I can't even eat peanut M&M's without wincing it is time for a visit to the dentist. 

 

I have a dentist appointment scheduled for 5:30 today.

 

I am dreading this appointment.

 

Not because of anticipated pain, I had braces for 4 years and a little pain in the dentist chair is nothing compared to pain in the orthodontist chair!

 

I am dreading this visit because when my dentist asks me if I have been flossing regularly I'm going to squirm on the chair, evade the question and pretty much flat out lie to her. 

 

Truth be told - I DON'T floss regularly, witness the three root canals I've had in the past 5 years!

 

So if the dentist tells me I need to have yet another root canal I will have no one to blame but myself.